So yesterday when Mark got home from work, we still had no bags packed and no room reserved. Plus nearly everybody canceled on us, so we opted to just stay home and save some money for Amaris' birthday. We all took a nap, then got up and had dinner at the Golden Corral because we'd never been and I had a coupon for buy-one-get-one... And with Amaris being under 3, her meal was free. So we ate there for $12. Score!

Then we headed off to Wal Mart so Amaris could spend her $20 gift card from grandma and grandma Nee, and so that we could get her a cake and a candle.

Amaris carefully chose a really obnoxious pink poodle toy. It barks and wags its tail and wiggles its head from side to side. She loves it. We found the rollerskates I'd been wanting to get her - the ones I thought they didn't have at Wal Mart (they had them in a really weird aisle that I'd never have thought to look in), and bought a couple of other things and headed home.

Amaris' birthday cake was actually two cupcakes with a crapload of icing to make them look like a puppy. She actually tried really hard to blow out the birthday candle before she finally took some help from daddy. She was thrilled with the fact that her cake looked like a puppy. I mean, utterly elated.







Until I cut him apart. I know, I am such a horrible murderess. To be honest, I'm not even sure how I manage to sleep at night.




She of course had to make sure I didn't harm her poodle.



Anyways it was uneventful but we made it work. We're thinking about maybe going to the lake at some point this weekend, but we'll see how it all goes. Today so far we've just relaxed at home and that's fine with me.

Today my little munchkin turns two! She is exercising her two-ness, too, let me tell you.

Her birthday so far has been uneventful. No presents, no cake... It's not even noon yet. This morning she had a rice krispy treat and some "bakey!" (bacon). Mark is supposed to be heading home as soon as class is out so that we can boogie down to San Antonio tonight, and tomorrow we're supposed to be going to The Schlitterbahn. Hopefully Amaris has a blast!

Anyways just wanted to electronically celebrate her big day. I just can't believe how quickly time flies. My little girl is two! It seems like just yesterday we were living in Camarillo and I was lying in bed in all sorts of pain when my water broke.

Every day I love you more, Amaris!

In case you wondered, I did go to girls night. I had a nice time, too. We had dinner at a local deli, then went to try and play laser tag. But that didn't work out since we were short on time at the place that has laser tag and to boot, their credit/debit card machine was down and nobody had cash. So we wound up going to the indoor blacklit mini golf course and then out for ice cream. When I came home the house smelled like men and the only sober people were Amaris and one guy named Matt, who was going to be driving the drinkers home. I wasn't real thrilled or impressed. But that's done and over with, anyways.




This past weekend was full of plans.

I had been planning since the purchase of the "2" shirt for Amaris a weekend photo shoot at the park in celebration of her second birthday. I am by no means a professional, but the JCPenney here doesn't seem to have a portrait studio, and that's where we generally get her pictures done. So I figured that the lack of a portrait studio was enough for me to need to take matters into my own hands.

When we finally got our asses in gear it was in the afternoon and just as we were heading to the park with the back of the car full of balloons, it started to rain. So we turned around and went home and I moped about my foiled plans. And then a couple of hours passed, the sky cleared up, and we went back out to try again. We got some pretty good pictures of her. I can't even believe she is already coming up on two. It's just so crazy.

After the pictures by the river, we headed off to a San Angelo Colts baseball game with Mark's classmates. Amaris was hotly pursued by a little boy named Shawn, whom she's had the opportunity to play with a couple of times in the past, but has not shown much interest. Shawn however seems to really enjoy being around her, and I almost feel a little bit bad for him because I feel like she is really playing hard to get. Once we got into the ballpark, though, his parents bought him a box of popcorn, and she suddenly wanted to be his best friend. It all worked out.


Then on Sunday, my big goal was to find a Toys R Us. Daphne - my Garmin - says that there is one here in San Angelo, but when you take the time to try and locate it, you wind up in front of a sad old building that looks a whole lot like every Toys R Us you've ever seen. I don't know how long this store has been out of business, but I do realize that my Garmin's directory must be horribly outdated. It does, however, find another store about 80 miles from here in Abilene, Texas. Abilene is a city we'd been planning to visit anyways, since they have a zoo and a drive-in theater there, as well as a really nice Air Force Base. So I said, "Let's give it a shot." We typed in Toys R Us and headed on our way just before noon. Tammi came along.

After a fairly long drive with not nearly enough to see on the way save for the occasional dead deer, skunk, or armadillo on the side of the road... we arrived in Abilene. We listened intently to the "turn left" and "turn right" directions from Daphne until we ended up in a vacant parking lot, in front of an old building eerily similar to the one here in San Angelo. I could have cried.

I called customer service and gave them what for. No, not really. I know it's not their fault that there are no toy stores within a decent driving distance but it still sucks. Defeated, we walked their extremely boring mall for a bit and then went to the zoo. That was nice. But hot.







A big piece of me is hoping that Mark's class will let out somewhat earlier than normal on Friday so that we can rush out and maybe go to the San Antonio Toys R Us on Friday night, since Amaris' birthday party is on Saturday and we're planning to go to The Schlitterbahn waterpark in New Braunfels. But at the same time, I know that's not incredibly likely. So I'm just playing it by ear. At this point I feel it's a bit late to be doing my usual online shopping.

Anyways that's my update.

The most irritating thing that Amaris does is when she grabs onto my arm with her little fingernails and scratches and pulls on me. She may as well be dragging those nails on a chalkboard. It's the one thing she does that makes me INSTANTLY lose every ounce of patience I had left. And lately she does it quite often. I feel bad being such a naggy mom about something so minor, but it really does drive me absolutely bat shit. Like, it makes me want to hole away in my room all alone until I can chill out about it. I don't know where she got the notion to do it, or why she would think it was a good idea.

On the other hand, she is incredibly cute. Especially since Sunday, when we got her bangs trimmed. She can see again!



Thursday night is supposed to be "girl's night". I am hesitant to go because I feel a teensy bit awkward with a group of Mark's classmates. I'm like the odd one out. These girls all spend a lot of time together, and I stay at home all day with my two year old. I see them maybe once a week most weeks. I keep telling Mark I'm not going to go and then he argues with me about it. I don't know why he is so adamant. He says he just wants me to get out and have a good time. I don't know why I am so hesitant. Aside from my lack of good old fashioned social skills.

Anyways I'm sure that this is a losing battle. And I'm sure my rotten attitude is totally unwarranted. I'd feel better, though, if I wasn't the only unemployed stay at home mom/wife here. I feel like such an outcast.

Okay, pity party over.

I was so excited to go see The Happening last night. I figured, sure, M. Night Shyamalan has cranked out some crappy films since The Sixth Sense - Signs and The Village were both total flops in my opinion - but The Sixth Sense was SO GOOD that I still held out hope for his first R-rated film. The previews all looked awesome.



So, for date night, we went to Bonsai Garden - a local Teppan-Yaki place. It was delicious. And then we went and caught the 7:15 showing of The Happening at Tinseltown, USA. The previews before the movie began were scary. There was a weird one for a movie called Mirrors and it actually gave me goosebumps.



And then the movie started. All through the movie I kept thinking increasingly that this had to be the worst movie ever. But I held on and kept watching because I wanted some resolution. A few parts gave me the creeps but for the most part I was just disappointed in the storyline and sub par acting. At one point, the row of high school students behind us freaked out and one girl screamed at the top of her lungs for a good 5 seconds. I'm talking blood-curdling. That was about the scariest thing that happened. It wasn't even at any of the parts that really gave me the creeps, either. Although maybe it would have, if I hadn't turned completely around the instant she started screaming to see what had happened to her. This is why they ought to keep teenagers out of R-rated movies.

Anyways we made it all the way to the end of the movie and I kept waiting to find out WHAT was the cause for all of this, and they didn't give a reason. The movie just ended, abruptly, with no explanations, no resolutions. What a disappointment and a rip off.

I don't recommend this movie.

Afterwards I was tempted to go and see The Strangers... But a part of me was just too upset with The Happening to fully accept a new movie. Maybe next time.

For now I am in limbo. I won't have any solid ideas until I am looking at a copy of Mark's orders. He has a few other options he is going to try and work out in between now and "then". We don't have a lot of time, but at the same time we'll be here at least until mid-September. So for now there isn't any immediate rush, I guess. It's not like we are looking at sorting this all out by tomorrow or anything. Not for the moment, anyways. I'm really working on curbing my stress over the situation, and am trying to remind myself on a very regular basis that these things have a way of working themselves out.

On the other hand, I am allowing myself to get a little excited about Okinawa. It wasn't our "first choice"... Or even our second, third, or fourth. But it is certainly going to be an experience. How many families get an opportunity to live abroad, expenses paid, for 3 years? Especially in a place as famously beautiful as Okinawa! I hear the beaches are fantastic, and that there are plenty of things to do on the island. Plus we will just be a short trip from Japan, should we decide to do any major traveling during our tour there. I'm trying to find the silver lining. By this time next year, we'll be sipping Miso soup in a foreign country! Well, okay, maybe saying it like that is just a tad overwhelming. But you get the idea.

Tonight is our first date night in a really long time. Jen is coming over around 5 to watch Amaris and we're going to eat Teppan-Yaki and see a movie. No major plans or anything but I am excited to have some time to spend with Mark. It's been too long.

Last night, after naptime and dinner, we took Amaris to the theater to see Kung Fu Panda. It was her first time in a movie theater. She did really well. She got through the first hour without issue, and got a bit antsy, so I took her to the bathroom for a diaper change. Her diaper was by no means full, so I put her on the toilet and to my surprise I heard the tinkling sounds of her peeing! She peed in a big, adult-sized toilet! I was so impressed. Then we went back and she was still a little bit over-excited, so Mark took her for more fruit snacks at the concession stand, and then she was mostly fine until the movie ended. I think it was a cute movie, but I can't be 100% sure, because I was more interested in what she was doing. I had to contain my laughter every time she made a comment about the movie. "Oh gosh! Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh!" Or, "Oh no, a mess. Oh no, a mess! Oh no, a mess! A mess! A mess!" And of course, "Wowwwww... Wowwwwww..." She is crazy. I think she had fun though. After the movie we toyed with the idea of going bowling, but decided against it because we weren't sure how Amaris would last through a game of bowling. I think she'd have been fine - she likes bowling. But Mark wasn't so sure. I think he was just being a party pooper.

Anyways, this was kind of all over the place. But I feel like I'm kind of all over the place these days myself. Things are bound to simmer down soon.

The situation with Japan just got scarier.

Yesterday Mark came home with great news! Turns out the reason we keep hearing about Okinawa in our future is because there is a Master Sergeant there who HAND-PICKED him for the position after going through his file. Mark was requested by name by this guy. That is really cool news. Also there is a Gunny here at the Marine Corps Detachment who told Mark that his first duty station in this line of work was in Okinawa too, and since then he's been promoted twice in pretty much record time. Going to Japan reflects positively in your record because it shows diversity.

But that is the extent of the good news. The rest was all scary and bad and left me sitting on the couch crying for a good 20 minutes.

My suspicions were right, and despite being told otherwise TWICE, it turns out that the trip to Yuma would be unaccompanied. This means a lot of things for us - big decisions to make - and none of them are favorable. It quite honestly changes everything.

Our options are as follows:

1. Mark travels to Yuma for his JSTARS course without me. I stay here in San Angelo, alone with Amaris, for 4-5 months. With no car. And the only places in walking distance are Sonic, Wal Mart, and the new Jack in the Box. Not to mention that I don't know anyone here.
2. Same as above, only Mark leaves me the car. I could either drive him and leave him in Yuma, or he could Greyhound his way there and hope for the best. He'd have to hoof it around base and/or rely on his classmates to get him around. I am still all alone in San Angelo. Miserably.
   
3. Mark first checks in at the unit in Okinawa and takes me with him. Amaris and I stay in Okinawa while he flies back to his JSTARS course in Yuma for 4-5 months. This means that Amaris and I would be alone in a foreign country with no reliable means of transportation, and would not be able to attend his course graduation. (I've attended every graduation thus far).
4. We pay out of pocket to move Amaris and I to Arizona with Mark. We would have to charge this move to a credit card. We'd also have to find a moderately priced apartment within a reasonable distance from the base that would allow us to have a month-to-month lease. We would probably sell or donate a good portion of our belongings beforehand and live with just the bare essentials, since upon our move to Okinawa, a huge amount of our things would have to go into NTS anyways (Non-Temporary Storage, at the government's expense).
5. We plead our case to the Master Sergeant, the monitor, the Platoon Sergeant, and anybody else who will listen and pray that they will have a little mercy.

And by the way, we need an answer in by tomorrow (which is now today), since the Master Sergeant who requested Mark by name will be visiting the area and this will be the Platoon Sergeant's opportunity to discuss with him what can be done about the situation.

So, I sat on the couch crying and feeling completely helpless for a good while after this all became clear in my head, and then it was time for movie night and a bunch of Mark's classmates showed up. And then after they left, we struggled to get Amaris to sleep for a while and then went to sleep without further discussion. This morning he left for work and I laid in bed and realized that we at least ought to be on the same page. We didn't really reach any final agreement. So I called him and asked what his plan was. Option #5 and then option #4.


Only he just came home and said option #5 is out. So I guess I'll be running up my credit card in a few months. Sometimes the military can just SUCK.

We've been watching a lot of Noggin lately.



I could beat Moose A. Moose up. This little video comes on about 30 times per day. I find it to be cute and irritating and catchy and monotonous. I know, bad mom letting the TV be on so much, but honestly it's just nice to have some background noise. I don't like the house to be dead silent when it's just Amaris and me. And it's either Noggin or The Backyardigans, marathon style. Which gets a little tiring. Even moreso than "beside... the sea-side..."

Anyways, it amuses Amaris. And Noggin is like preschool... on TV.

This weekend is date night. I am hoping to go to the Japanese steak house and a movie. This'll be our first date in a really long time. I mean, we've gone and done things sans the Ami, like we went to a club in Fresno back in December, but it wasn't a date. And we went to the Marine Corps Ball last year... But that doesn't count either. That's, like, a mandatory event.

At any rate, I'm excited to have a date night. I haven't been to a movie in almost a year. The last movie I saw in the theater was "Hog Wild" (?? I think that's what it was called - the movie with Tim Allen), and I was in Switzerland. We're overdue.

Also, since I mentioned the Marine Corps Ball... I should also point out that I am now wondering what is going to happen this November. Since he'll be training somewhere... Will there be a ball? Will we go? I like to get a jump start on my dress shopping, and not knowing is hindering my ability to do so.

I just need to grow some patience. Easier said than done.

I've pestered Mark daily for information on our upcoming orders. No dice. This has made me extremely antsy.

This morning, in between when he left home and when he needed to be in class, I got a phone call. Half-asleep, I launched myself out of bed and pressed the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"
"Hey, I heard something."
"What? You heard something?"
"Yeah. Okinawa."
(fully snapping to awake-ness and realizing what exactly he is talking about) "WHAT? Okinawa?!"
"Yeah, that's what I just heard. I guess from here we're going to a 'JSTARS' course in Yuma for 4-5 months, and then from there we'll be going to Okinawa."
"WHAT? Okinawa?!"
"That's what I heard. He said he's going to check for sure but he was pretty sure that was where I'd be heading."
(long pause) "Well, so much for getting what we wanted."
"Right?"
"Why do we have to go to Yuma?"
"Because everybody who goes to Okinawa has to complete the "JSTARS" training."
"Huh."
"Yeah, so that's what I heard. Just thought I'd let you know."
"Well thanks for calling. I appreciate the update."
"No problem. I've gotta go to class now, so we'll talk later. I love you."
"Love you too, baby."

So. Okinawa. I am not yet thrilled. I had a feeling all along that this would happen. I think it's an improvement from the potential garbage we faced with 29 Palms; but still the thought of Okinawa, after the message I received from a friend currently living there, is extremely scary.

Now, don't get me wrong. I AM excited about staying in another country. But from what I've heard about conditions for US military over there... And a lot of the garbage we'll have to go through... I am a little hesitant.

Either way, we'll make it work, no matter where we go. Because we'll be there together.

I guess part of me is most annoyed that we have to go to Yuma, AZ first. Which is basically the armpit of nowhere. And is also in the desert. I mean, it'll only be for a few months, but still. That'll amount to a total of like a year that Mark had to train for his next duty station. Which is lame. And then when we get to Okie, it'll be a whole 3 years there. It's just such a long process.

Anyways... That's my update. Make the best of things, I know. But it looks like we'll be spending Christmas in the desert. I'll be playing it by ear and taking things one day at a time for now.

Oh, and not that I actually buy into this stuff fully, not until I've got a copy of his orders in my hand. We'll just see what happens.

I think I mentioned before that I just have no idea what to do for Amaris' second birthday. I mean, we're going to The Schlitterbahn, but aside from that I am drawing a blank.

I did special-order her a really cute birthday shirt to wear, though.
You can see it here. I can't wait to get it and put it on her and get some super cute pictures of her. I have a plan for her in that shirt with a big bunch of balloons at the park. We'll see how it works out. The JCPenney here in San Angelo doesn't have a portrait studio (for shame!) so I have it in my head that I am just going to improvise and do it myself.

So that's exciting. She's driving me up the wall today, but I figure this is the territory with a 2-year-old. I really wanted to take her to see Kung Fu Panda, but so far it hasn't worked out. I need to do it at a time when the theater won't be too terribly crowded and when she's well-rested. Maybe tomorrow she'll take a nap before daddy gets home and we can try it then. Otherwise it might not happen.

I saw on Noggin today that there are all sorts of cool birthday ideas on NickJr.com. I keep meaning to check it out but then I lose my motivation before I can type in the address. That is a bummer. I just feel like what's the point? For this birthday party, we won't need favors, and I don't need to bake a cake... There's really not much to do. I just need to get tickets, food and lodging figured out and get things moving. It'd also be really cool if I could figure out who all is going to be attending.

Ah well, I guess. One thing at a time.

We spent the weekend camping in Junction, Texas. It is seemingly in the middle of nowhere, even moreso than San Angelo itself. It's about 90 miles away and is on the Llano River. Some of Mark's classmates were on an MWR trip that included a 9 mile tube ride (which was originally supposed to be a kayak ride, but the kayaks didn't come in on time.)

Since Amaris is possibly a bit young for kayaking or tubing down a river, we just drove down for the camping. We wound up swimming and such in the river while we were there, though, and had a good time. I think Amaris and I were pretty much the only completely sober people there. Still, Amaris managed to score the biggest wound of the trip when she face-planted off of a cement step and busted her little top lip open. She is such a trooper, though. She cried a while, and I tended to her bleeding lip, and then in no time she was ready to keep on keeping on. Still, her injury makes me sad!

By night time, I had figured out that camping in June was probably not the best idea, since June brings about June Bugs and I am not a fan of the sticky little bastards. So I spent much of the evening wigging out over them and all the guys spent much of the evening picking on me for being so distraught. When Amaris got tired, she and I retired to the tent, and shortly after Mark arrived and said he too was ready to sleep. So we all piled into the air mattress. I didn't sleep at all, between the grossly hot and very strong wind and being bitten by some unknown bug on my leg and all sorts of other stresses, I laid awake most of the night, and by morning was totally exhausted. We came home and I took a much needed nap as soon as Ami was doing the same.

Overall, we had a good time. But I will thoroughly enjoy sleeping in my own bed tonight.

I've still got a little bit of a leftover cough today. When Amaris got up this morning at 6:30, I was not impressed. I went to bed just after midnight and got up with her 5 times to put her back to bed. And then the alarm went off at 5:00 and I got out of bed to send Mark off to school, bags packed for him to stay overnight as the duty NCO.

Somehow, I managed to get Amaris back to sleep with me for another 3 hours. That was very appreciated and very much needed. I still feel sleepy, but not quite to the same extreme as before.

I still haven't tackled all of the Sharpie artwork. I can't bring myself to be motivated enough to tend to it all. It's overwhelming. The front door is cleaned, and parts of the walls, thanks to a team effort put forth by Mark and I - after he'd cooled down a bit from the initial shock. I tended to some of her furniture yesterday. Today I figure I should probably do something. Not sure what just yet, though.

I found a living room set at the exchange online, 5 pieces for $1200. Shipping is $100. It's black, and I'm not crazy about black couches but it seems a little more child-friendly than khaki. It comes with the couch, loveseat, coffee table, and two end tables. Not that I have $1300 or anything, but still it's good to know it's there.

It's still hot. And I still don't know where we'll be heading next. But I do know that the likelihood of 29 Palms is dissipating, as both of the other Marines in Mark's class volunteered for it... Why, I am not sure. I guess they're gluttons for punishment. Whatever the cause, I am grateful to them.

We're surviving. Tonight will suck and I'll be home alone and probably up late because I can never coax myself to go to bed when Mark's away, but I'll get through it and tomorrow will be another day. On days like this, I am always impressed when I look at the clock and it's after noon. I feel like I've managed to get more than halfway through (even if some of that time was spent sleeping) and I'm encouraged to keep on keeping on through the rest of it.

My tolerance for the heat is dropping. I used to be able to cope with it being 89 degrees in the house before I bothered with the a/c. Today I was miserable and went to check the thermostat and was really disappointed to see that it was only 84 degrees. I set the a/c for 82, and hopefully I'll be alright with that and my electricity bill won't be too awfully ridiculous... We'll see.

We're about halfway through our stay in Texas. I'm going to make it.

When we decided to keep on keeping on with the military life, I made a big deal out of getting off of the West Coast. Don't get me wrong - I enjoy California. But I've enjoyed California my entire life up until February of this year, with the exception of a few vacations that took me away from it.

I mean, if we're going to go through the hassle of living the military life, I may as well see someplace other than the state where I was born and raised. So, despite Texas' reputation, I was partially excited to come here. Just because it was something different - a new experience and an adventure.

We filled out Mark's Dream Sheet very carefully over the weekend, shooting for the East Coast. Originally we'd hoped for Japan, but I did some research and had the pants scared off me about it, and decided to hope for someplace else.

We listed the Carolinas as our preferred duty stations.

All was going fine, until yesterday when Mark came home and said that the monitor was going to select one of the 3 Marines in his class to fill a vacancy at 29 Palms if nobody volunteered.

If you know anything about 29 Palms, you know that nobody in their right mind volunteered. Which means we have about a 33% chance of being sent there. Of all the duty stations available for us in this world, 29 Palms is probably the one I want the least.

1. It is in California. I'm trying to get AWAY from California. And if we wind up there I feel like it will be totally ironic. We spent all this time trying so hard to stay in California, and in our comfort zone, and then when we are finally trying to leave, they send us right back against our will... That just sucks.
2. It is in the middle of NO WHERE. I mean that quite literally. If we were going to get stationed in California again, I'd be happy at Camp Pendleton. I love Camp Pendleton. I'd be content in San Diego. But to send me to 29 Palms is... Well, cruel.
3. 29 Palms is hot. Not hot like sexy. Hot like it's in the middle of a freaking desert, and it gets to well over 100 degrees in the summer.

Now, if we wind up in 29 Palms, it obviously won't be the end of the world. We will be together and we'll make it work. But I'd really rather not go there. As with all things military related, I believe and count on nothing until it happens. But on the same note, I am trying to mentally prepare myself for the worst case scenario.

I could just cry. Seriously. Since Thursday I've had a cold that just won't quit. So the kitchen was pretty backed up by today. I finally went to attend to it while Amaris watched The Backyardigans in the living room. She was peaceful, and I was happy to have no distractions while I loaded the dishwasher to capacity.

When I turned from the sink and headed back into the living room, I made an extremely disheartening discovery. My heart literally dropped down a good 3" as I saw my daughter covered from head to toe in black stripes.

No, she wasn't suffering from Mad Zebra disease. I wish she had been. That might have actually been funny. This was much worse. She'd discovered a black, double-tipped Sharpie in the office and had proceeded to "decorate" anything and everything that she could find. She drew on herself. She drew on the walls. She drew on the furniture. She art-ified the carpet. You know those commercials where the kids have taken their crayons and scribbled all over the walls? Imagine that. Now multiply it by 3. And now change the crayons to a black, double-tipped Sharpie.

Infuriated, I sent Amaris to "time out".

Do you want to cry yet? I do. I had one half of a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, so I took it to her room and frantically tried to "erase" the permanent mark from her cute little pink footboard. The black faded. It's now a gray Sharpie line. I ran into the hallway and tried to scrub the marks from the walls. They barely faded at all. I tried it on the door. About one inch of the line there ALMOST disappeared before the eraser started to crumble in my hand. I pumped Purell onto her little plastic table, and scrubbed with a dish rag. Slightly faded, but still apparent.

In the shed, there are 3 half-used cans of paint. I am going to likely have to re-paint or at least touch-up the places she "spruced up". And I'm going to have to pray really, REALLY hard that the Rug Doctor will lift the carpet's "stripes".

My couches, I don't know how they'll manage. They've been through so much that I am starting to feel like it is maybe just "their time". Alas, I don't have the money to replace them. So where does that leave me?

And on top of all this, I am dreading when Mark gets home, because I know that he will be twice as upset about it as I am and I feel like I'm already well over my daily limit for heartache.

Oh, and Amaris fell asleep on time out. So I researched permanent ink removal. No surefire methods yet. Did I mention that I could just cry?

I've determined that I just can't afford the "Total Mac Experience". I used a 60-day trial .Mac subscription and thoroughly enjoyed it, but now that it is coming to an end, I just can't coax myself to spend the $100/year on maintaining it.

Alas, my blog will have to relocate. I toyed with whether or not to host it here at blogspot or at wordpress... But finally just decided to go with the "Total Google Experience", and here I am.

This layout, though, will have to go. I mean, it's cool and minty for the time being, but I won't be able to tolerate such cookie-cutter business for long. Which means that I'll have to wean off of the easy iWeb layouts, and might have to dust off the cobwebs from some of my long ignored and forgotten html skills.

Fortunately, I don't really have a life, so that should prove to be fairly easy.

On with it!