Tomorrow we are heading to San Antonio, finally! After 6 months in this shithole state, I'm finally getting to go to the ONE place I was interested in going to! On our second-to-last weekend here! (Excuse me while I roll my eyes at the sheer ridiculousness of that little fact.) I'm stoked beyond all reason! But at the same time, I know that as soon as we get home, we'll be thrust into a thousand different things all at once and that's a little spooky. Oh, here it comes - my favorite word these days: OVERWHELMING.

Tuesday will be a full day with lots to do and probably high-stress. And from there it'll be one visit from movers after another till the weekend when we're left with an empty house and some cleaning products.

I've been arranging details and booking various things all week. We've got carpet cleaners coming the day before we lock this place up, a rental car in Los Angeles, hotels, and pretty much everything in between that can be thought of. Left to do is to finish going through our belongings and purging the things we're 1) not taking and 2) won't want in 3 years. The goal here it to have as few pounds as possible in belongings. Losing the refrigerator helps, but we've still got way more crap than is necessary. And all that crap amounts to a lot of weight.

Amaris has learned lately to make animal sounds. She ribbits, neighs, baas, arfs, meows, tweets, clucks, quacks, and squeaks. She also refers to everything more than once - the first time normally (ie: "Look! A fork!") and the second time as a baby (ie: "Look! A baby fork!") She also recognizes the ultrasound photo of her younger sibling, as well as his/her heartbeat on the doppler at my prenatal visits.

Speaking of the baby, I've been incredibly shocked at just how much it is moving in there so early. I mean, rather than getting the weird gassy-poppy-bubbly feelings that Amaris' pregnancy brought signifying her ealiest movements, we seem to have skipped that completely and gone straight to jabs and pokes and prods. I am "kicked" several times each day. I thought I was nuts - I mean, I'm only 16 weeks along here. But at the Schlitterbahn last weekend, at one point Mark put his hand on my belly and then looked at me with wide eyes and said, "Was that the baby??" I don't know that I've ever seen his cute little halfway slanty eyes open quite so big.

We scheduled my ultrasound for September 8 so that I wouldn't have to struggle with traveling to Okinawa right around the time that most women have their "big" ultrasound. That relieves a little bit of stress, but at the same time creates the new stress over whether or not the baby at 18 weeks gestation will be compliant and reveal his/her gender to us. Either way. We'll have a 3D scan done in Southern California while we are there, so that'll hopefully be a little more reassuring as far as boy vs. girl.

Anyways that's the news. It is what it is. I'm beat.

The past couple of weeks, I've been earning extra cash via Craigslist and eBay. Some of my friends think I've become an addict, but really I am just wigging out and trying REALLY hard to unload some of the unnecessary junk before we move. Which, by the way, happens in just a couple of weeks. (Yes, I am fully expecting to crap myself.) Actually, a week from today, the movers will be here, in my house, packing up all of my crap. Hold me! They'll load the "household goods" by Friday and we'll be bunking at the base lodge for our last week in San Angelo. Which is fitting, since that's how we spent our first week in this dump of a city.

So far, I've sold a crapton of Amaris' baby clothes (one auction left to go, I hope), Ami's old crib, dresser, high chair, travel system, and bassinet. I've also managed to unload the Gamecube and all of it's accessories. And hopefully have legitimate buyers lined up for Ami's old bouncer, jumper, portable high chair, kick-n-play piano, Baby Einstein DVDs, a few other miscellaneous baby items, some of the furniture - namely the freestanding kitchen counter and the two closet organizers, and the old TV (which we're selling complete with stand and DVD player). We'll see, though. I don't want to just expect that these people will pull through just because they sent me emails and said they'd come. Although it would be cool. It'd also be really cool if we could find someone to buy the rest of the crap we need to unload. Like Amaris' baby bedding, the fish tank, the photo printer... To name a few. I saw a box outside of The UPS Store today (while I was dropping off eBay goods) labeled book donations. I have a whole box of books I need to get rid of, so I think next time we head out there (hopefully soon, just waiting on payment from my last two auction winners) I'll drop my books in.

We took Boo to the vet this morning and let them re-microchip her (we needed an internationally compatible chip) and vaccinate her against Rabies.

Other than that, things are slow. The Schlitterbahn was not nearly what the Travel Channel hyped it up to be and we were all disappointed. It was a nice atmosphere, but the number of rides suitable to a 2-year old and an expectant mother was slim, and our options were pathetic. Even the rides that appeared to be completely tame were classified as "red diamond" rides which basically scared me out of even attempting. Even if I were ballsy enough to try, the lines were all an hour long or more. That made it a really boring afternoon. It also rained that day, which made for a weird experience. At $40 per ticket, I don't think I'd bother going back. Unless I was already stuck in Texas for some odd reason, and was unpregnant, and the trip was going to be just Mark and me, and we could spend the whole day there. Then I might go. Otherwise... No. A big part of me wishes that we'd gone to The Great Wolf Lodge instead.

But oh well. Next weekend we'll be in San Antonio. We passed through there on our way home from San Marcos (that was where we stayed last weekend for our Schlitterbahn adventure, since it was nearby and also home to the outlet mall... Which was where we spent a good deal of Sunday. But we didn't spend much money. Kudos to us.) and they had Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Heck yeah!

Anyways, I am kind of scatterbrained these days. So I am probably all over the place. But in my defense, my LIFE is kind of all over the place right now. Hopefully it'll all get sorted out soon. Really soon.

After 6 months, we're finally heading out to the Schlitterbahn today. We'll be staying in San Marcos tonight so that we can do the outlet mall before we come home tomorrow. Finally some of my Texas to-do's are getting to-done!

One course down... One to go! Look at my little Analyst!

My plans are always changing. Always evolving. Most of the time, I don't even see it coming. It just sort of happens while I'm not paying attention and then I have to rush around to gather up all the fragments and try to start over. This entire thing has my stomach in knots and my anxieties on overdrive. Everything from the overnight driving to California to the situation with my little Boo to the fact that I'll reach my 20-week mark just a week after we land in Okinawa.

I feel overwhelmed. And confused. I know it'll all work out, ultimately. And I know things will be fine, just fine. But for now I'm in this really lost place where I feel like I'm forever taking one step forward and two steps back.

The landlady agreed to buy our refrigerator. She's not going to do a walk-out with us, so we'll just mail her the house keys when we've got the place cleaned and call it a day.

I've been posting baby gear, furniture and electronics on craigslist all day long. So far the only listings getting any bites are the ones for Amaris' crib and dresser and the fish tank. I'm hoping somebody shows some interest in the remaining stuff soon... We'll see.

It rained all day today. And it wasn't scorching hot, either. I sincerely hope there are more days like this ahead.

We got our hotels booked, except for the one night we'll spend in Seattle. Need to get on that one soon.

I've sorted all of Amaris' old clothes and am going to list them on ebay tomorrow. I'd have done it today but the whole process was a lot more work than I'd anticipated and my head is still hurting from all of it. Tomorrow will be chock full of more of the same. Sorting things, selling things, and hopefully figuring a whole lot out.

Tonight, I'm exhausted.

1. Texas Pride BBQ
2. Puffy tacos
3. Riverwalk/cruise
4. Sea World
5. San Marcos outlets
6. Tower of the Americas
7. Alamo
8. Hyatt on the river
   

Now, how we'll manage to cram ALL of that into four days is beyond me. But damnit we will just have to FIND a way. Next weekend Mark wants to do the Schlitterbahn, so maybe we can stay overnight in or around New Braunfels and hit up #5 on Sunday... We'll have to see how it all pans out.

I give up.

I've decided to just roll with the punches. My lovely sister-in-law offered for Boo to stay with her in San Bernardino with my brother and their cat, George, even just temporarily. I had the option to attempt today to find a USDA certified vet and try to cram EVERYTHING into the last day I could hope to do so and potentially end another day sad and disappointed and discouraged. Or, I could go through with using the base vet here and then let Boo stay a little longer in the States with someone I know adores cats, thus allowing Boo to skip the kenneling process before she joined us in Okinawa. We booked a room at the Hansen Lodge and we're going to just take it day by day.

Well, sort of. I'm still working out all the kinks for our final few weeks here in Texas. And the plan is still... well, lumpy. To say the least. But the good news is that I'm trying really hard to not build myself up for further disappointments. I fully expect to live in the base hotel for up to 3 months waiting for a housing unit to become available. And while I am cautiously optimistic that the girl Marine who is scheduled to PCS to Okinawa a few short weeks after we do will be able to travel Boo over to us, I am figuring that it's very likely we'll end up shipping Boo a few months from now as live cargo.

We're going to drive 17 hours straight through immediately after Mark's final graduation, and we'll stop only for food, gas, and potty stops. But this also means we'll have a little extra time in California for Amaris to spend with her aunt and uncle and for Boo to get partially adjusted.

I worked all evening last night on our calendar for the remainder of August through the middle of September when we arrive in Okinawa. If only you could see it. The next few weeks are completely solidly packed with happenings. So much so that it makes my head hurt. But I'm trying really hard to take it one step at a time and just see how it all pans out.

This, however, doesn't stop the incessant thoughts from rolling around in my head:

• The drive will be miserable.
• Have to get a hold of landlady this weekend and update her on the situation and hopefully sell her our refrigerator.
• Need to ebay and possibly craigslist a ton of our things, since the odds of a yard sale are becoming slimmer and slimmer.
• Need to get this place totally cleaned and ready for the landlady's approval by September 10 or so.
• Have to go through and select what is going with us accompanied, unaccompanied, and what is staying behind to be placed in NTS for the next 3 years or so.
• Pack.
• Arrange the "big packing" with TMO.
• Contact Okinawa housing office.
• Finish getting area clearances.
• Book TLF here in San Angelo.

Among other issues.

But, like I said... One stop at a time. We'll get to the details. It's all bound to pan out somehow.

I'd like to thank the 4 voters on my blog poll, even though I had to force two of those voters to participate... Hehe.. And I'd like to encourage everybody else who comes through to vote, too. It's just over there on the right hand side of the page, below the tickers.

Have you ever looked at someone or something and thought to yourself, that person/creature/object should have been born a (insert name or type of other person/creature/object here)???

Today, my friends, should have been born a Friday. Only, I'm not quite sure that would have been a good thing, because it would have been a total disgrace to all Fridays everywhere.

It rates very high, my friends, on the good old suck-o-meter.

And now as I sit here eating my leftover roll-up lasagna (perhaps the highlight of my day), I realize that with some crappy football game on TV and my husband sitting opposite me, eyes glued on his computer during the commercial breaks and still clad in about half of his uniform... This is a rather appropriate ending to this shit-fest. Football on TV, which I hate, for the first time this year since the Superbowl. Amaris in a bitter mood and in and out of her unexpected nap. Mark's green socks balled up in an undisclosed location, just waiting for me to later discover them, and nobody talking to anybody else or otherwise trying to fix everything that is so overwhelmingly fucked up.

Who the eff is Chris Myers, anyways and who gives a crap what he thinks.



The day started out with me being tired. Maybe tired isn't even the right word. Utterly exhausted might be a little better. Mark switched schedules today, again, and had to leave for work sometime in the 0500 hour. I couldn't drag myself out of bed long enough to send him on his way properly, so instead when his ride got here he kissed me and took off. And I flopped back into my sleeping position and returned to my heavy sleep. And then before I knew it, the alarm was going off, again. And I was hitting the snooze button, again. And again. And once more. And then Amaris got up and came and snuggled up next to me and I wanted so badly to just lie there with her and sleep the morning away, but at nearly 9AM, I knew I had to get up and get moving otherwise we'd miss our appointment at 10:15 to get overseas clearances.

So I got out of bed, put on clothes, did the bare minimum to my hair and face and then got Amaris dressed and we headed out the door, Cheerios in hand.

At the clinic, the girl rejected my Marine Corps form and made me fill out the Air Force form instead. Then they stowed me any my two-year-old away in an exam room for about an hour. At one point, a tech came in and threatened me with a Hep A booster I knew Amaris had already gotten. I handed her Amaris' yellow card, which she took away, and then she came back and said, "Oh, she already had it, so she's up to date till she's four." Which is funny, because that's exactly the same thing that her doctor told me two months ago at her last well-baby check up. I took back her yellow card.

Finally the doctor came in and shook my hand. Amaris was too interested in a Mickey Mouse book she'd recently discovered to bother with this large man. This was where I got the first MAJOR annoyance.

My appointment, all so important for our impending international move, consisted of this doctor asking me if I have any "ongoing health issues." I told him "No." Mentioned asthma that I really hadn't gotten any treatment for, particularly recently. Then he says, "What about your daughter?" I said, "No, she's been just fine, knock on wood."

He then says, "Well, you need to go to dental before I can release you. Go there and they'll just do an interview there too, and then come back here and I'll sign the form."

I waited an hour for THAT??? How about checking our medical records? How about giving me a fucking PHONE call if you only wanted me to agree that we're healthy??

I said, "What about vaccines? My husband said I would have to have some vaccinations done." He says, "Oh, we don't do that here. You'll have to go to public health for that."

Well great, what a wealth of information and help. I'll be sure to add you to my Christmas card list.

So I go to dental, and the girl there is just a bag of fun. She asks me if I'm active duty. No. She tells me I'll need an appointment. Fine. (Even though by looking around the entirely EMPTY lobby, I can tell that is a total waste of time and effort already). Oh, but our appointment system is down, so you'll have to call back later to try and schedule it. Well, fan-flipping-tastic. Oh, and by the way you'll need such-and-such form. Where can I get that? Your sponsor will have to get it for you. Gee, thanks.

Into the car we load and I drive around the base for a good 30+ minutes looking for the veterinary clinic so I can make an appointment for Boo. Finally I find it and the sign says (I kid you not) Hours: Tuesdays 1000-1200 For appointments please call (number) I'm annoyed, but I dial the number. It rings a couple of times and then goes to a voice mail, reiterating the hours, location, and services. If you have a pet emergency, please take your animal to a civilian veterinary facility, blah blah blah. And then it says that if you want an appointment you're to leave a message. Currently appointments are scheduling for August 20-22. I leave my information.

There was a lull in between that and when Mark called me to come pick him up from class this afternoon. "I got my orders!" He says into the phone. I hurry to the base and he loads into the car. As we are exiting through the gate, he proceeds to read me the travel itineraries. I knew the odds were good that they'd screw up our orders. I didn't realize to what extent. He mentioned that we'd prefer to fly out of LAX so that we could TMO the car at Camp Pendleton, but they told him that wasn't very likely or possible. So he told the admin guy that he wanted to fly out of SEATTLE no sooner than September 18. They are allowed a 10-day window to get our tickets near our requested date. This window SHOULD HAVE BEEN September 18-28. Instead, they booked our flight out of Seattle for September 16. We submitted our 30-day-notice to the landlady from hell stating that we'd want to turn over keys to her on (and pay rent through) September 15. And they booked us a flight from LAX to Seattle on September 15. Mark's final graduation date is September 12.

In short, we have less than 3 days to get the house ready and the keys turned over to the landlady (earlier than we promised, which means I'll feel resentful if we pay the full 15-days worth of rent), and get our happy asses to California.

On top of this, we called right away to try and get into the TLF on base in Okinawa - they have 9 pets-allowed rooms. Those 9 rooms are all booked through the entire month of September, except for the night of the 23rd. Mark had a hard time understanding the very Japanese accented girl who answered the phone at the reservations desk, so he had her on speaker phone and I had to discreetly translate a couple of things for him. This means we'd need to kennel Boo. And I don't want to do that, nor can I particularly afford to. She'd be locked in a cage all day every day till we had a place to keep her, and it'd cost us approximately $30 per night.

Furthermore, upon looking into it again, I see that Boo's vaccinations and such all need to be dated no less than 30 days prior to our departure, and no more than 365 days. If we can't get her an appointment at the base vet until August 20-22, that'd obviously make her paperwork less than 30 days prior to our departure. Which means she's not even eligible to travel. And if we want her to be eligible, we have to find a USDA certified civilian veterinary clinic and get her in there by Saturday. Yes, the day after tomorrow.

Mark is unwilling to help me sort this out. I feel alone and hopeless and so damned disappointed I can't even see straight. The thought of leaving Boo behind breaks my heart. I mean, seriously makes me feel ILL. If only they'd gotten us these orders SOONER, when they were SUPPOSED TO. Maybe then I'd have enough time. But at this point, I feel like the sand in my timer is all but gone and I am stuck in this horrible helpless place.

And I'm going to have to go back to the clinic and force them to use the Marine Corps forms that they turned away this morning. And I'll probably have to wait an hour at the medical office and another hour at the dental office, and then wait again at medical to have my clearance fully signed off on.

I'm beyond frustrated right now.

Amaris went to bed early tonight and I decided that I'd catch myself some sleep as well. Since Mark's on duty tonight, I won't be waiting up for him to get home and be ready for bed anyways. So it just made sense to go to sleep instead.

I got everything shut off (lights, TV, computer, etc)... Took my vitamin, rounded up the house phone and the cell phone and went to bed with one earpiece in my ear and my "Snoozefest" playlist at the ready. I didn't even get all the way through Alan Jackson's "Remember When". My eyes popped open and I started thinking. And then I tapped on the lamp on my nightstand and hoisted myself out of bed.

I got stir-crazy. So I went for the Windex and proceeded to scrub and shine the glass shower doors. And then I started a load of towels in the washer. And then I went back to the bathroom and CLEANED THE TOILET. Yes, I did. With no real reason. Just totally scrubbed it and then went on my merry way.

And then I went into the kitchen. And I looked towards the sink. And I got totally discouraged. I hate emptying the dishwasher and avoid it at all costs. Mark doesn't mind this task. But he doesn't always do it. And so the dishes pile in the sink for several days while I spit nails and feel bitter about it.

Today is no different, clearly. I would rather clean the toilet than unload the dishwasher. That, my friends, is sad.

If I sit here on the loveseat long enough, I might be able to work up the motivation to get on it. We'll see. I might instead just get tired enough to lie back down and go to sleep.

Things are insanely hectic here in our little universe.

The move to Okinawa is approaching us like a bullet train and I feel like I don't have my tickets and baggage together just yet. Which, really, isn't entirely metaphorical if you think about it.

We still don't have orders. I am still lacking details. And Mark's main class here is ending next week. It's scary, really scary. We're going to arrive in Okinawa and be totally homeless. I'm petrified.

We went through the office last weekend and got rid of a lot of excess garbage, and things we are hoping to otherwise get rid of before we move. I'd like to go through the rest of the house, too, before we have a yard sale. We've got lots of things to unload.

I waited patiently for Boo's travel bag to arrive, and yesterday it got here. I opened the box and messed with it a little bit and finally decided while it's adorable, it's also the equivalent of a kitty death trap and would absolutely not work for her (or us - mainly me). So I packed it back into it's box and am going to return it. Which is fine because I found a Sherpa bag at Petsmart that will work just fine and I'm tired of trying to "up the ante" on all of these insignificant issues. Also at Petsmart I found a way cooler leash and harness than the ones we bought last week at Petco. And that greatly disappointed me, but again, I'm trying really hard to just let these trivial things go.

We got our new iPods (shut your mouth) and had a lot of fun uploading way more music than was necessary into them throughout the weekend. I've decided that I'm madly in love with mine, where before I felt they were unnecessary and silly. Not anymore. I've been converted.

Mark promised we'd go to San Antonio this weekend and I was elated. But then he came home yesterday and canceled on me. So now we're going to do it on Labor Day weekend instead. Which is fine. As long as we actually DO it. Texas Pride BBQ, Hyatt on the Riverwalk, outlet mall, Sea World, and puffy tacos... here we come!

Amaris helped me water the lawn yesterday after Mark mowed it.




Notice how green the grass is? Take that, landlady.

Also, I'm developing a belly. Here is my 14 week picture. Ignore the poor quality and absolute frumpiness. I hate mirror pictures.

Anyways, I feel like lots of things are happening all at once and I'm a tad overwhelmed to say the least.

Amaris decides when it's time to go to sleep.

Today around 5PM she opted to take a nap. She didn't bother to let me know, she just went off down the hall unannounced and into our bedroom. She carefully took the pillows down from Mark's side of the bed and then tucked herself (and "B") in cozily and ventured off to dreamland.

Usually when the house gets quiet, I enjoy the peace for a few minutes and then realize that she is probably making trouble somewhere. This was one of those times. And then I found her looking absolutely as peaceful and as cozy as she possibly could have there in bed and my heart just completely swelled with adoration.



Sometimes being a mom really is the best job in the world.

As an added bonus, instead of her usual crabby mood upon waking up, she woke up and came bouncing down the hall in good spirits. I'm grateful for days like these.

There is a cat here in my neighborhood who seems a little off. I've noticed this cat before and have even thought to myself how cute it was. But the other day it was near the side of our car before we headed out to buy groceries. It has never really hung around or acted particularly friendly. It has never "talked" to us. But on this day, the cat was making the ugliest "meow" sound I'd ever heard. It was crackled and pathetic. Mark said, "Don't get too close, I think there's something wrong with it," which of course sent me into a minor panic and I swooped Amaris up (who was very interested in making friends with a new cat) and told Mark to chase it off. It was rubbing up against the car and looked sort of sickly now that I was really paying attention.

And then, it walked across the street. But even it's walk was weird. Like it moved both front feet but sort of hopped with the two back feet.

We left. We came home. We went on with life and honestly I sort of had forgotten about it. In the car after it had jumped off, I asked Mark what he thought was wrong with it. He didn't really say. So I started quizzing him. I wanted to give the cat the benefit of the doubt. I said, "Well, I don't think it had rabies." Mark disagreed gently. I suggested that it may have been in heat. Again, Mark disagreed. Then I realized that aside from the movies, I'd never seen a rabid animal, and really had no idea how they behaved. I said, "Pfft. Where would it have gotten rabies from? A skunk?? I don't think so." Mark shrugged.

A few minutes ago, I was sitting here on the couch and heard loud and horrible cat crying sounds coming from outside. The mystery cat crossed my mind. And then I thought, "No way."

I got up and opened the blinds in the kitchen window, and saw it sauntering down my driveway in that same strange walking pattern. Left, right, hop. Left, right, hop. It crossed the street and disappeared alongside the vacant house there.

So I started feeling weird. And I googled rabies behavioral symptoms.

I found this, which was really the first thing to catch my eye:

Animals that Carry Rabies
Skunks and bats are the most common wild animals found to have rabies, though any mammal can carry the virus. Livestock, like cattle and horses, may be vaccinated against rabies, but may have to be tested if suspected to be rabid.

Skunks! Oh no! I never would have known! And bats! I don't know why, but I always thought rabies was usually in animals like possums and rats and such.

And then I remembered every scary movie I'd ever seen, where the rabid animals always look vicious and are foaming at the mouth and biting everything. And I somehow reassured myself that this little kitty couldn't possibly be sick like that. So I searched further down the page and found this information on the two different "styles" of rabies:

Furious Rabies
Behavior is aggressive and excitable. The animal can suddenly attack when approached.

Dumb Rabies
Unusually shy or approachable, sluggish, confused, and/or depressed

Shy, approachable, sluggish, confused, depressed! Oh no!

Now I'm afraid to take out the garbage. Why is it having to hang around my house??

I love my camera. After much research, I bought at the beginning of the year a Kodak Z712 for myself. It is wonderful. Picture quality is great, zoom is fantastic, etc, etc, etc.

But it's kind of big. And it plows through AA batteries like they're going out of style. And many times Mark has asked while we were out somewhere, "Where is your camera when we need it??"

It just isn't a purse camera. It's fantastic for parties and for trips and such, but for everyday purposes, not so much.

Yesterday we went to Target. You'd think that by now we'd realize that Target is the black hole of all spending. And with our purse strings as tight as they currently are, you'd think we'd have a little restraint.

But I got to thinking that I'll be going about 3 years with no Target trips. And there are things we need before we go to Okinawa. So I got cocky with Mark's redcard. And we splurged on an Olympus FE-340, among other random items that we'd have eventually needed anyway - a new portable DVD player for Amaris (since she broke her last one), and... Okay, ipods. I'll admit it. We bought ipods yesterday. Stupid, I know, but we've been talking about doing it for months now. Anyways back to the camera, quit thinking about my stupid and frivolous spending! I'm still tinkering with the settings and figuring out how to take indoor pictures with the flash without making things yellowy and weird, but the camera is cute and pink, and fits very comfortably in my purse. And it has a battery life of longer than 10 minutes. Oh! And it has a 5x optical zoom (which is obviously not as awesome as my Kodak's 12x, but for a pocket-sized camera, it's fairly impressive!) and is 8.0mp.

Win.



We bought AA batteries for the big camera, by the way. I'm just too lazy to load them up. And, it wouldn't really be smart to load them up right now anyways since they'd just be sitting in the camera dying a quick death while I had nothing to snap photos of.

Today we bought Amaris a Cabbage Patch Newborn, and she's learning how to treat babies. She's hesitant, but showing promise.


She has also decided that her bear's new name is "B". She had until now always called him Beau /Bo/Boo (she has trouble with the "r" sound), but yesterday she shortened it to just "B". And now all bears are "B". Or maybe she's calling the bear "Bea" and it's short for Beatrice. Which would give me a slight identity crisis because up until now I'd always thought that "Bear" was a boy.

I miss Jamba Juice. And Presto Pasta. And Ralph's pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. And hye roller sandwiches. I'm hungry. And totally unmotivated to feed myself.

The last time I was hit on was when I lived in Fresno. I was... Oh, 17 years old or so, and was with my friend Jackie at a pool hall. This little guy came up to me, and said, "Do you like to party?"

I was caught off-guard. I said, "What??" So he repeated, "Do you like to party?" I thought it was funny. So I laughed a little bit uneasily and said, "No.."

He persisted, "So.. You don't want to go to a party with me tonight?"

"Um... No. Thanks."

"Okay, well have a nice night then."

And then he was gone. The exchange was over just like that. Up until then, every time I'd ever been 'hit on' was while I was walking from class to my car at Fresno City College. Inevitably some guy would fall into step beside me and strike up awkward conversation. I can't even remember, looking back, where these conversations went as they were so brief and so "in passing," but I do know that my 'marital status' was always brought up. And then suddenly, after learning that I was engaged, the conversation would end and I'd be left to walk the rest of the way to my car alone, chuckling to myself.

Last night we were at a party by the lake (this is where most, if not all, parties in San Angelo occur for us) and Mark was off drinking beers and socializing while I sat alone (being the vivid social butterfly that I am) text messaging my friend, Ifer. Oh how I wish that he'd learn to not leave me by myself at parties. Are there any husbands in existence who don't do this to their wives? I would love to know.

One of the guys, Doug, noticed my alone-ness and called me over to sit near him and his wife. They were about 6 feet away at a picnic table. They were talking with a guy I'd never met before. I got up, still sending a text as I did so, and sat down on the bench next to the unrecognized guy, who quickly attempted to scoot over. I then realized I was rude in "assing him over". So I said, "Oh, no, you're okay."

He said, "Why? Because you've got a skinny butt?" I blinked several times. And then said, "Uh, no, honestly because I am really used to sharing my space."

Then Doug and his wife started quizzing me on why I was alone at a party. So I told them that I was a loner. And then the guy next to me goes, "Why? You're cute. And sexy. And if you're cute and sexy, all you have to do is ask."

I suddenly felt extremely grossed out. I looked at him with one eyebrow up and said, "Ask for WHAT?" It was then that I took a look at him. A probably 40something bachelor with both ears pierced, scruffy facial hair, and a beer belly.

He said, "Well, you know, whatever."

I waited for a good opportunity and then pointed out my "worse half". To which the 40-year-old-gross-o said, "Oh! Which one is he? Need to know these things, you know."

And then he took the opportunity to scold me for being married young. And proceeded to explain to me that the reason I was so quick to fall into the arms of a man and get married was because I probably had a bad childhood and no father figure.

Which irritated me beyond all reason. So I said, "Actually, my husband and I dated for over four years before we got married. We didn't 'rush into' anything. And now we've been married for over three and a half years."

He piped down for a bit, and then Amaris walked by, playing with bubble wands. And he said, "I have not heard that kid talk the whole time I've been here." Clearly he didn't realize he was sitting next to and had just finished hitting on and then scolding "that kid's" mother. In fact I'm pretty sure he didn't realize I was a parent at all. So I said, "Oh, she talks nonstop." And then I called her over, and she turned and saw me there and said with the world's biggest and brightest smile, "HI MOMMY!"

I've never been so proud in my life.

Beer belly scooted away to allow space for Amaris to sit next to me on the bench.

I stayed there a while and then got up. Later on, beer belly lit up a cherry scented cigar and I was further disgusted by him and his existence.

There is a certain dignity in how you choose to hit on someone, and how you react to being shot down. He didn't have an ounce of respectability. Just because you're bummed that you're 40something and single, and I am a happily married girl HALF your age... Doesn't mean you ought to try and make me miserable, too. Sometimes it really is that simple. I found it, you didn't. I hate to be mean, but at least butt out when you're given the proper cues to do so. And unless you know me, or know anything about me, you ought to not open your big ugly trap and tell me about my issues and mistakes and weaknesses. That's just silly.

One of my big fears lately is that Mark will eventually look like George Lopez "when he grows up". George Lopez is not funny. He is a racist. And is annoying. To be fair, I don't enjoy ANY of the "racist" comedians. I don't like any of the "Blue Collar" guys, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, or Carlos Mencia.

Clearly today all I want to talk about is famous people who annoy me.

There is a George Lopez commercial that comes on Noggin several times a day. And when I see it, I get annoyed. And then I realize that he actually does look quite a bit like Mark. They have similar eyebrows. And similar noses. Similar coloring. More accurately, I guess that what I am really saying is that shortly after I am annoyed by the G-Lo commercial, I realize that MARK could, with a little more hair, potentially look a lot like HIM.


I realize that he is not a particularly "bad looking" guy, but for some reason I feel like if and when Mark starts to really resemble him... He will suddenly become an obnoxious bigot. And that's just not a happy thought for me.

In our house, 4:30 is the time of day we all dread. Amaris knows that Noggin won't be on for much longer as soon as the 4PM showing of Blue's Clues is over. She will start looking over at me nervously. As soon as Yo Gabba Gabba is about to begin, I change the channel and she instantly pitches a fit. It's become sort of funny. She knows it's just for a little while, but still has to make it into a huge dramatic scene.

The real problem comes into play when I realize that there is really not much else on. Every day, it winds up being DJ Lance vs. Paula Deen. Two of my LEAST favorite TV personalities. Ultimately, Paula wins, because while she is absolutely one of the most obnoxious people I've ever had to watch for 30 minutes, her show at least involves food. And it reminds me that I should think about dinner. And watching Paula Deen gives me something sane to complain about. Well, partially sane at least. She makes all Southern women seem like uneducated idiots. Her accent is overdone and irritating, and she licks her fingers and cooking utensils while she cooks.

All of these things bother me about Paula Deen. But none of them bother me as much as the disturbing facial expressions Paula makes upon tasting EVERY SINGLE DISH she creates:

To me, this reaction seems to be a cross between scary, cross-eyed, mildly retarded, and orgasmic. It annoys me. More than you could possibly understand. I want to beat her mercilessly.

However, I would still rather watch her for a half an hour than watch DJ Lance and his creepy dancing toys. Even if it means that Amaris will have a brief fit.


Plus, I am bigger than Amaris. So I win.

And really, it could be worse. Food Network could have decided to put Everyday Italian on at 4:30, and then I'd be forced to watch Giada DeLaurentis. And I'd have to hear about her "crispy," "crunchy," and "gooey" Italian favorites. While she pretends to have an Italian accent. And smiles with her gigantic horse teeth. That would be REAL torture.

I was wordless yesterday. Did you notice? The batteries in my camera have been dead for a couple of weeks now. And actually, I can't find them to re-charge them. I think I lent them to the wireless mouse. Bad move. So I've been unable to post pictures for a while now. Wordless Wednesday is supposed to contain pictures. But no camera means no pictures. My sympathies.

It's funny. I usually have so much to ramble on about, endlessly, but when I actually get a chance to blog, it all goes away.