This honestly makes me really sad.  I spent the last 3+ years parked in front of a TV watching the Food Network and oohing over silly kitchen gadgets.  I like the Pampered Chef!  I obsess over Rachel Ray, and I idolize Alton Brown.  The kitchen has been my one sacred place.  Mark cooks on occasion, but to be honest, it's pretty rare for him to do it.  For the most part the kitchen is entirely MY domain.  I like it that way.  I like knowing where things are and having it all just so.

But here, I don't have things a certain way, really.  Most of the stuff in my kitchen doesn't even really feel like my own.  It all feels like temporary junk that I don't even care about.  For the most part, that's intentional.  We didn't want to blow a ton of money on "nice" things when we knew we had nice things back in the states.  What's the point of having double the nice stuff?  I figured, eh, it's just 3 years.  I'll survive.  I'll make do.

But with this kitchen, I struggle.  It's not cozy.  It's not fun.  It's not familiar.  My silverware, dishes, glasses, cookware, everything.  Right down to the rubber spatulas.  None of it is "me".  None of it feels like my stuff.  I have a really hard time adjusting to being in a kitchen that feels so foreign.  And with the roach problem this apartment came with, I am REALLY struggling to feel cozy in there.  Last night before bed, I Raided along the floor and the sides of all the appliances.  Anyplace that I felt like a roach might have a chance of hiding out, I sprayed the Raid.  This morning I felt a little better about the situation, but only a little.

I have fun in the kitchen still.  I still make a mean pot of spaghetti or pilaf or whatever your heart desires.  I still keep my fridge typically stocked, and my pantry always has some sort of something in it worth eating.  I am loving bento-making and honestly fall asleep every night thinking about what I'll pack in Mark's lunch.

I just wish it felt a little more "mine".

Today I made Amaris her first ever Bento lunch.  It was adorable and I should have taken a picture.  It had mini pb&j's, carrot sticks, grapes, pretzels, and cheese.  She loved it.