Last night, I experienced baby girl dropping. Just a little, but enough for me to notice. I distinctly remember that my belly was more "sticky-outy" towards the top a few days ago than it is today. Today it looks like Sierra Summit's "The Face" - steep and sloped! Plus as we were driving home from the commissary, I could feel her diverting herself to my pelvic area. She's still jabbing me periodically in the ribs, but only when I am sitting down and slouching. (Like now.) As I was sitting there feeling her readjusting, I realized I was 30 whole weeks along - 3/4 of the way there! - and that really, she could be born as soon as a month and a half from now. Which is way TOO soon and scares the crap out of me, but at any rate it's the truth. And it's good to come to terms with the truth.

Last night I dreamt that I gave birth to baby girl, and everything was fine (she was definitely a she and they sent us home from the hospital immediately). I keep dreaming that I forget to take pictures at the hospital and wind up leaving with no photos of my baby in the loaner hospital receiving blankets and then I feel guilty. So that sucked. And then she slept all the way through the night, which scared the CRAP out of me, but when I went to check on her she was fine. I realized she hadn't ever eaten before, so decided to make her a bottle, and then a bunch of Mark's family members showed up. His brother brought me Boo and I cried and decided I'd smuggle her through the rest of our time in Okinawa. Apparently the constant criticism I get for not having the desire to nurse Amaris or this baby girl is getting into my head and is causing me to dream weird things about breastfeeding. I'm still not interested in it, but apparently all of the incessant brain warping is affecting my subconscious. I dreamt that baby girl ate 2 oz of formula and was getting sleepy but I'd gone into the other room with her and was determined to do breastmilk. Even though she didn't need it, what with the full newborn serving of formula successfully consumed and all. I nursed her and hated it, but felt like it was what I HAD to do in order to avoid further criticism. And that, honestly, pissed me off. What I do with my boobs is my business, darnit!


Anyways, Amaris and I had a busy day today, we got up early and drove to the clinic so that I could have my 28-week bloodwork done (yes, I know, I'm doing it late) and schedule my next OB visit... But of course I couldn't find my ID card, so had to do some shuffling and driving back to the apartment before I discovered it in my purse, just in the wrong spot. Then we played a while at the playground... Decided to go to story time at the library where I chatted with some other moms and felt like I was so cool and independent for a little while and Amaris got to play with the other kids. Had lunch (mac-n-cheese, carrot sticks and rectangle toast), then went to another appointment and checked the mail before we came home. Amaris was totally exhausted by then, so I laid her down on my bed with her blanket and her B and she fell asleep. The trick to naptime is getting her up in the morning earlier than I want to and keeping her busy! I could've had her down for a nap around 1:30 when her mood changed, but we were en route to our appointment and that took way longer than I thought it would. So we didn't get home till like 3, and by then she was infuriated and totally overexhausted. Poor baby.

All of that is enough to make me want to get another car. It's so nice to have the capability and independence to up and go and DO things. One of the other moms at story time was telling me about the preschool outside the gate and how they've got a full [English] curriculum and only charge $19/day for a once a week setup until 2PM or so. I think after the holidays I may look into enrolling her one day per week, just so she can get out of the house and socialize and interact with other kids guaranteed once a week. Maybe try for Tuesdays or something when I typically don't have anything else exciting going on. I know she'd love it and it would give me a little bit of a relax period (having a little time for housework and peace never hurt anybody!) And baby girl and I could walk to pick her up in the afternoon, which would get me out of the house and doing something active, too.

I'm going to run the idea past Mark this evening. I'm also going to suggest that he start leaving me the car on Thursdays, because I feel like I can get so much done when I just have the car once a week. And Thursdays are a good day, since the library does story time and such. I keep thinking if I can just motivate myself to do SOMETHING, I'll be able to motivate myself to do all the things I want to take care of. Like school. Which I should really quit dragging my feet on.