Trick or Treat!

We made it for trick-or-treating and I feel bad about the previous entry being so full of bitterness. So here is an awesome picture of my rad little Wonder Woman to cheer everyone up.

Let's not get angry

I am trying really hard to not lose it this afternoon. I thought for sure the guys in charge of the rifle range this week would send Mark home at a decent hour. I was positive. But clearly I was wrong, as here we sit, 5PM. No sign of him yet. Trick or Treat officially begins in one hour here on base, and Amaris is running around in nothing but a bad mood and a diaper. I don't have enough here to occupy her time anymore. It's really frustrating. Our house has government furniture, the computer, some kitchen junk, a TV, and food. As far as toys go... We have like 6 Hot Wheels, 2 barbies, a couple of iPet toys from Burger King, and a couple of stuffed animals. That's it. Oh - and a toy that is suited for a 6 month old. For some reason Amaris thinks it is rad beyond all reason. But not now. Right now she is just upset about being bored. So am I.

My elbow is killing me because there is a huge insect bite on it that I mysteriously got yesterday morning. Probably while I was blogging angstily. Anyways it has swelled up and made my arm incredibly sore. The rest of my body is just sore in general. My shoulders and neck especially.

If Mark's not home soon we'll miss trick-or-treating. I'm already at a loss for dinner since the meal I'd planned on requires ingredients we don't have.

I quit this job!

Spooky!

Happy Halloween, boys and girls. :)


The seeds are in the oven and we're all set for trick-or-treat. Popcorn balls later on.

Realize

It's been a difficult week. As Mark got dressed he said, "I'll be so glad when this week is over with. One more day to go."

This difficult week, with all of it's early mornings and late evenings, has made me come to a realization. I am lonely. I'm just as lonely here in Okinawa as I was in San Angelo. I love Mark to death and God knows he tries but this week he's been, really, too tired to be a social outlet for me. He comes home, sits zombie-fied at the computer and checks his various accounts: Myspace, Facebook, Mob games... And I sit over his shoulder rambling on and on about the trivial happenings of my own day to day. Then we eat dinner and he goes to the couch and turns on the TV. And promptly falls asleep. Not like dozes off, we're talking full-on mouth gaping head on the armrest sleep. Amaris always has to point this out. "LOOK, mommy! Daddy's sweeping!" The first couple of nights she tried to wake him up by whacking him on the forehead repeatedly and saying, "'it up! 'it up!" Last night she simply said, "Where's daddy's blanket?" then found her own tiny little pink fuzzy fleece blanket with the stars on it, and painstakingly covered him up with it (first his shoulders and neck, then pulled it lower and lower till it was covering his feet). Then she kissed him. And then she came to me, proudly, and sat in my lap. Night before last, she offered him her "B" and her "dol-fat" as sleep peace offerings. ("Dol-fat" translates to dolphin - as in the stuffed animal she HAD to HAVE from the Churami Aquarium a couple weekends back.)

As Mark sat and started his routine last night of checking his Myspace and Facebook accounts, I rambled on and on about all the chaos that was my yesterday: The tower fire drill where I ended up locked out of the apartment and the firemen had to climb a drain pipe to let me back in, the trip to the "pwee-grout" where Amaris played with at least a half dozen other military brats for nearly an hour before I told her it was time to come inside and make dinner - which caused her to throw herself down in the grass and scream bloody murder and kick her feet in the adorable terrible two's style of good old fashioned tantrum-throwing, and then the trip back into the apartment where I had to carry her under one arm while she screamed and kicked me in the back until we got into the building where I set her down on the floor and let her follow me into and out of the elevator (each time she was stopped long enough to do so, she threw herself down and pitched another fit). The early morning phone call from maintenance to come and fix the kitchen drain - the same one that had already been fixed the day prior. The handful of phone calls I had to make throughout the day to schedule appointments - Amaris' dental exam and my own ultrasound, and the call to TMO to make sure our belongings are still on-time to arrive on November 4.

And while I sat there going on and on about all this, Mark just kept doing what he was doing. Ordinarily I wouldn't have cared. But for some reason my delightful hormones were going full-swing and I got upset at him for not giving me any response. I wasn't looking for a five-paragraph essay or anything, I know that my adventures when relayed to an extremely tired man who spent his day shooting a rifle and getting sweaty and dirty pretty much mean nothing. But I all of the sudden felt like he could at least have pretended to be interested. I don't even know that he did that whole smile and nod thing to keep me rambling. I just know that he sat there continuing on like I may as well not have even existed. And it hurt my feelings. And I sad, "Well, you sure are fun," and then got up and went into the kitchen to sulk.

He said, "You're not happy, are you?" I said, "Not right now." He said, "I mean with me, in general." No, that's not true. Actually since we got here things have been great. Things have been stellar. There have been times when I felt a fight brewing since we arrived in Okinawa and he must have, too, because he immediately apologized, smiled, and took my hand. Moments like that have NEVER before existed in my relationship with (as I affectionately call him) the most stubborn man alive. Moments that literally leave me dumbfounded and searching for the proper words to THANK him for humbly avoiding a pointless argument. I should have searched harder so that I could convey my gratitude, rather than silently counting my blessings. Since we got to Okinawa, our relationship has been great, is what I'm trying to say. We don't always have the privacy or comfort that we want here, with Amaris running around like a maniac, baby girl kicking the hell out of me from inside, and no proper bed to snuggle up in, but I feel liks things are a thousand times better than they were while we struggled through 6 months in Texas. It is NOT that I am unhappy with him. The problem is solely me.

I am a lonely person. I spend my days, quite literally, talking to an irrational 2-year-old. And we went to the playground yesterday and there were at least four other moms there with their kids, and one dad. And Amaris got along with all the kids and had a great time. And some of the moms clicked and were chatting. But I felt like the loner. Just like in high school. I managed to be the loser mom that didn't fit in. And I don't know what I did wrong. And I resent it. I don't know anyone here. I don't have stellar social skills or anything like that so I have alienated myself and have, basically, no idea how to MAKE friends. Especially with kids. The other unit wives from Mark's command are... nice, I guess. I don't know. We are one of the few families with more than one child, or really, any children at all. The wives I have met I am hesitant to get close to. Mark knows tis about me the best. I am terrified of being shat on, so I don't make friends. I sulk and mope and try to find other ways to occupy my time and none of it works. I still end up the lonely one who depends on her husband as her only social outlet.

Poor guy. I am sure he really does feel like he can't win. And he tries so hard, too. To keep me sane and happy. And I sit here and mope and isolate myself and fill my time with frivolous online shopping and other things that I think will make me happy but they don't fulfill me, really.

My goal when we found out that we were coming to Okinawa was to work on school. I need to enroll. And I need to do it soon. I need to be doing something that matters. Not that raising Amaris doesn't matter, I just feel like I'm not always doing the best job at that either and I could do it better if only I would just work on making myself happy, too.

NMCRS is looking for volunteers. I think I'll email them today and find out how to get started. And the PWOC is always on my back trying to recruit me. I don't know anything about "Protestants" so I'm going to look it up and see just what all that religion entails.

For now, it's 4AM. Mark is on his way to work and I'm praying it won't be a ridiculously long day today. For his sake and mine. And that tomorrow they'll have a different schedule that doesn't require him waking up before 5AM and coming home after 6PM. It's Halloween, for crying out loud. I am going back to bed now that I've gotten this off my chest.

She's ready

Yay sonogram!

My new OB here is awesome and nice. And he ordered me another ultrasound. Score!

I am definitely cool with any additional opportunities to see baby girl (and make sure she is still, in fact, a baby girl!!) and was totally elated when he mentioned it. He said he knew my previous scans were fine and that my previous provider was happy with them, but he said that because all he had in my file were the text reports he wanted to have another one done as a follow up just so that there was a complete report in the "system" for me here. He started to tell me that there is no research to show that ultrasounds are at all harmful to the fetus and that they do them routinely all the time, like I was even considering NOT doing it after he brought it up and I cut him off and said, "Oh, I'm not arguing! It's fun for me!" He laughed and said, "Okay then!"

So I need to call and schedule that - I'm waiting until Mark can tell me when is a good time for him, though. I'd hate for him to miss out on another ultrasound. Other than that, though, this was a really boring appointment. Nice to meet my doctor and learn a little bit about their standard procedure and policies here, though. Baby girl's heartbeat was just fine at 146 BPM and my blood pressure (when checked the second time) was perfect. My bump measures right on, 25cm.

Amaris and I drove around a little bit and ran some errands before we came home, and I'd been promising her a trip to the playground all afternoon. She knocked out in the car just as we got close to home. I felt immediately guilty. She'll forgive me, I'm sure. But for now she is peaceful in her room. (How I managed that during the school's out crazy rush that was occuring when we got here is truly a miracle.) For the first time in well over a year though, while I was driving from the post office to our apartment, I remembered what it was like to drive around like an independent woman instead of sitting at home like a dependent chump. And it was good. And it even made me a little sad. I don't mind sharing our car usually, but it'd be nice if I had a certain day each week designated as "my" day, so that I could drive around and run errands throughout the day and get things done. Most of all, get out of the house. There were times in San Angelo when I had the car, but I didn't really ever feel at ease or in control. The Garmin was always barking directions at me and I was always stressing out about something. Today, had I ventured outside of my little Camp Courtney bubble, I'm sure I would have been panic stricken and hopelessly lost. But for my little excursion, I felt really good.

Jeeez

Last night, as I was picking apart the chicken for my procrastination-friendly chicken noodle soup (we decided to have it Monday night instead of Sunday night when time got away from us and we knew Mark would have to get up at 2AM), I realized the floor was a little bit wet around my slippers.

Groan. I had just fought with the sink for like an hour to get dishes in the dishwasher. And I think at that point, the sink STILL hadn't drained from that whole ordeal. Now I get to stand in water too. Joy of joys.

I finished what I was doing, left the soup on the stove, and then Mark called to let me know he was heading home from work. Yesterday was his latest work day so far at this duty station - they kept him past 6PM! Anyways I called maintenance as soon as I got off the phone with him and told them we were having all sorts of plumbing issues. They said they'd label it emergency and send someone out ASAP, possibly even that night.

They didn't come last night. They called me this morning bright and early and said someone would be here in about 20 minutes. So I got up out of bed (for the second time - I got up and packed Mark's lunch at 2:30 this morning and got him a bowl of cereal before he left at 3) and unloaded the dishwasher, which basically served as an oversized drying rack last night after the water started flooding from the bottom. The maintenance guys got here and fiddled with the sink for a while and finally came and said it was all fixed. I hadn't heard them do anything with the dishwasher, so I said, "even the dishwasher?" "Yes, all fixed." "Oh, okay, great thanks!"

They left and I turned on the dishwasher to test them. My sink works like a dream, but sure enough, the dishwasher still leaks. I am annoyed. Maintenance sucks.

October has gone on too long

I feel like this month has officially lasted... FOREVER. I don't think October is ever going to end. I keep seeing the dry-erase calendar on the fridge and it still says October. I want to re-write it. My iCal still says October. I keep thinking it must be time to flip ahead and why isn't Jimmy doing it automatically yet? I am cranky and perpetually in need of a nap. My patience is running even thinner than usual lately. I must be coming up on my third trimester.

I'm still riding the "this crib situation sucks" train. I've determined that to ship the crib from my friend to me would cost almost $65. And then Wal Mart went out of stock on it. I don't have the money to buy it right now anyways, but that just irritates me. The two other stores I can order it from online (Target and Babycenter) both want more than Wal Mart wants for it. I went to a baby shower this weekend and all of the moms there were talking about how useless and overrated the changing table is. I'm trying to remember, am I just crazy? Up until Amaris was like a year old and we retired the changing table (mostly because we'd badly mistreated it and it was no longer in one piece, quite literally) I am pretty sure I used that thing several times a day. Useless? Really? I don't think it was. I have been adamantly looking to find one for baby girl. Now I am wondering if I am being frivolous. I already have a changing pad, and the only surface it has to sit on currently (the government loaner chest of drawers) is far too high up to safely (and comfortably) change an infant's diaper.

And why is it that everywhere I live, I end up having drainage problems? Like, seriously, what is it about me and clogged drains?? It's really starting to piss me off. When we moved into our first apartment, there was some weird something about the plumbing in the bathroom, I can't remember exactly what the issue was but it was stupid. And then the sink had no garbage disposal, so I had to get used to throwing away all of my usual "sink garbage". Then we moved into an apartment in Port Hueneme that had a garbage disposal. But for some reason is ALWAYS clogged on us. We seriously had the maintenance guy over to fix it so frequently that I started to think I should offer him room and board. We moved out to our house in Camarillo and the shower NEVER drained properly. You'd take an average shower and by the end of it you'd be standing in 3-5" of soapy, dirty water. It was GROSS. The shower had to be literally scrubbed every time anyone was done using it, and to scrub it you had to wait like an hour so that it would be drained first. That was bad pipes and couldn't be fixed. Our on-base house in Port Hueneme after they decided the houses in Camarillo weren't worth fixing and may as well be demolished was really nice and I don't recall any notable drainage problems there. Of course we only lived there like 5 months. Our house in San Angelo had slow drains periodically in the master bathroom. I rolled my eyes and probably said something about de ja vous the first time it happened.

Here at this house, things have been fine, up till last week when my garbage disposal decided to become completely worthless, and the kitchen sink started "throwing up" everything that I put down there. You run the water for more than a minute or so and the sink starts filling up. I am so irritated. I've run the disposal at least 20 times, used the plunger, and yesterday used a Drano "foaming pipe snake". No dice. There is no keeping a sink clean when it has this issue. And apparently there is no fixing such a sink, either. It is so frustrating. I should call maintenance but I know by the time they get out here to clean it I will have done one of the following:
  1. Fixed it myself
  2. Jumped off the balcony in despair
  3. Given up on cooking and cleaning and filled the sink with all sorts of filth, and then topped it with a big tarp in utter embarrassment
I'm in frequent pain latley and getting really tired of constantly being kicked in the crotch or jabbed in the ribs. I really don't remember Amaris being so violent in-utero. I hope that baby girl is getting out all of her pent-up frustrations now and that she'll be born a very calm, peaceful version of herself. And that she will stay that way.

Hmpf. It isn't taking much lately to make me bitter.

How many weeks along am I?

For some reason I have the hardest time remembering. It's like I hit 20 weeks and since then I've been "More than halfway through." I don't bother to remember anymore.

I know that there are 7 pay days in between now and when baby girl is due to arrive.

Okay, I just checked. I'm somewhere around 24+ weeks. Closer to 25, I think. So 25 is what we're going with. Because it sounds nicer. Rounder. Like me. Notice how pale (and gross in general) my legs are. And no, I'm never going to take my backpack down from the buffet in the background. It looks special there. I need some pictures to hang on the walls or something, good grief this place looks barren.


Plus, I knew I had a 25-week photo to compare my belly to. Well, it's not a very good representation of "the belly" when I was pregnant with Amaris, but it's a cool picture and I like it. So that's what you'll get. I distinctly remember that everyone said, "that is NOT really your belly! You are huge!" I think in reality it was pretty similar to where I am now, though.

So yeah, I think that was one of my favorite belly pictures when I was pregnant with Amaris. I don't know how it managed to come out like that, but it was cool lighting or something, and the flowers in the background. It was cool.

We downloaded all of the newest episodes of House and Pushing Daisies from the iTunes store. And Mark insisted we buy The Devil's Advocate. He says today is a movie day. I say BOO to that - I want to go shopping. Damn the fact that we have no money. I'd be happy to window shop at this point.

Oh well, I have chicken noodle soup to cook, so I guess it's just as well.

eBay makes me nervous

I have a 100% eBay user feedback score. I'm saying it right now because in a couple of days it might not be true anymore.

In the past two days, I've commit to buy one item by error (didn't notice the color till I'd already committed) and bid on one other item that I shouldn't have (THOSE curtains were the wrong length...)

eBay really stresses me out and I'm not sure why I am a user. I am one of those losers who frets over my score ALL.THE.TIME. I am always worrying that it is going to drop. Someone is going to say something negative and kill my positive streak. I think I've only ever made something like 40 deals on eBay, really, but I've had the account for longer than I've been a licensed driver. Seriously.

And then this week and all it's bad luck with shopping rolls along and here I am stressing out because I've never made eBay mistakes before. And twice in one week I've "oopsed" and then wrote sellers apologetic emails - quite literally red-faced.

With that being said, I also love eBay. Those curtains I complained about in a previous entry - the discontinued Pottery Barn Kids ones - I bought them. I got two of them on eBay, brand new, for the same price I would have paid for ONE panel from PBKids. I also got the matching area rug for about $50 less than retail.

All that remains for Amaris' bedroom makeover is the bedding (which I see I can get for $10 less than retail on eBay) and pinboard. Well, and a curtain rod.

I'm feeling a lot better. Did I ever discuss why I am so adamantly re-doing Amaris' bedroom? I love her furniture. But she has no curtains and really not much to hang on the walls. I never thought too much about it until I started really putting thought into baby girl's room. And her room is set to be awesome. (Well, it will be as soon as we get a freaking crib in there...) She's got this cool cherry blossom themed bedding, with all the matching accessories - a lamp, pillow, window valances, laundry hamper, wall hangings, area rug... And then I decided to go with the theme we'd have to get her a couple of those round paper lanterns. How cool will that be, right?

So I'm looking in baby girl's bedroom and thinking how neat it's going to be, and then I walk past Amaris' bedroom and am consumed by guilt. Like, overwhelming guilt. I mean, Amaris' furniture is cool. No doubt about it. But she has a bare window, nothing on the floor... Poor girl.

Then I find this Pottery Barn crap and it's way overpriced but it's literally the only matching set of anything that I can find that matches her bedroom PERFECTLY. It was like, meant to be. Love at first sight. Whatever you want to call it. That was what happened. It took some convincing but Mark agreed to it. I've been waiting for an ideal time (as far as our bank account is concerned) to buy it all ever since, up till the discontinued curtain catastrophe.

Anyways that is the story. And that's why I am so elated about the whole purchase. And of course that's why I am so damned obsessive in the first place. Amaris deserves a room at LEAST as cool (if not MORE cool) than her little sister gets. And since they will be sharing a room in a few years, I figure I'd better buy two bedding sets, one for each girl. That way I get some mileage out of it.

That's just weird

Last night I dreamt that I had an ultrasound. At a girl's house. She had an ultrasound machine. And instead of the pictures coming out blurry and guess-y, they were like black and white PHOTOS of the baby. She was scanning her own belly and we could see her daughter. Fully dressed, eyes open, alert. In her belly. She was wearing a headband.

So I got excited and asked if we could scan my belly and see my baby. She did. And we discovered that baby girl was in fact a baby boy. Only it was really blurry for me. Her scan was like photos, video, whatever. Mine was vague and dark. But I'm pretty sure it had a penis. And then I panicked and said, "Oh my God, his bedroom is all pink!"

I want another ultrasound. For peace of mind. I accepted that Amaris was a girl right from the get-go. No hesitation. I don't know why I am having such a hard time believing that this one's a girl too. (Although from her bedroom, you'd think I was sold on joining the pink team months ago!)

Anyways I feel like I am just sick and tired of everything at this point. There is NO comfortable position to sleep in anymore - not on a squeaky, creaky air mattress - and I am in general feeling overwhelmed, particularly with Christmas around the corner and then the arrival of the baby so shortly after that. I feel like I am struggling to make ends meet and make sense of things in my head anymore. I should make like a thousand lists, otherwise we'll never get everything done. Our "to buy" list just keeps growing and I'm not quite grasping where the money is going to come from to make sure all of these things are here on time.

Did I already mention that I called and pestered TMO and they said to expect our household goods to arrive on island November 4? And once it arrives, we'll have to go into the office and schedule an appointment to have it delivered. That just seems so hopelessly far away. I know in reality it isn't THAT bad, but when you're feeling as hopeless as I am, 2 weeks may as well be an eternity. I am up at least 12 times per night. Every time Mark moves or I readjust myself, (squeak squeak squeak goes the air mattress) I snap awake. Jeez - every time Amaris (who is across the hall!) moves on her air mattress, my eyes snap open. And most of the time when I wake up, I can't go back to sleep until I've peed.

Things will get better. I know they will. I just need to be patient.

Hate

I can't believe how full of hate America is. It's so sad.

Leave it at work!

I am having the problem workaholics have. Only I don't work. And when I did work, I certainly wasn't addicted to it. My problem is that I can't let these shopping issues that have all hit me with a vengeance go and I am now having bad dreams. Dreams where I am giving birth (and it's miraculously an extremely easy labor, and baby girl comes out looking just like Amaris and WALKING, even) we forget to even take any pictures, my belly vanishes instantly, and I'm leaving the hospital to head home in shorts and a tank top (ha, yeah, like I'd be wearing shorts leaving from labor and delivery).

But we get home and !!! There is nowhere for baby girl to sleep! Not even a temporary pack & play or bassinet! Although I am pretty sure Amazon won't give me too much grief about shipping a pack & play. No crib, nothing. And it's like I just... forgot. Or maybe not forgot but just couldn't ever figure it out.

At this point my best idea is to order the Wal Mart crib, have it shipped to a Wal Mart close to a friend, have that friend pick it up, and then ship it to me. But what if for some reason THAT doesn't work out either?? What then? I am at a total loss.

Does this then make me a shopaholic? Or am I just troubled..? I don't know what to make of it all, really. I just know I'm not doing so good right now.

Don't get me started.

Of all the bases here and all the exchanges, there is only ONE furniture store. ONE. For the whole island. For all of the thousands of military personnel here and their families.

One store. How messed up and weird is that??

So I've been to this one furniture store three times now. The first time I was horrified to find that all of the cribs available for purchase were not all that attractive, and priced at least $100 more than what you'd pay in the 'states for the same crib. Disappointed and with newly lowered expectations, we went back the second time to truly scope things out. We found (to our surprise and delight!) a crib similar to the crib we had for Amaris, just in a different color of wood - perfect for baby's room! And it was only $200! The same price we'd paid for Amaris' crib! Score. Money in hand (well, debit card anyways), we went back to the furniture store last night only to discover that crib (was it a mirage?) was gone. And all that was left on display were those same cribs from our hopeless first trip to the store. Nothing suitable for our intents and purposes OR within our price range.

This was all AFTER we went through the fiasco of trying to deposit the check from our crazy former landlady in Texas. (The one where she wrote "$440" on the amount box, and then "four hundred fourty four dollars" on the legal tender line... Dunce.)

Since then, I've been extremely bitter. We found an amazingly cool TV cabinet (if our TV EVER arrives, that is) and I was temporarily contented by that, but after the awesomeness of that had worn off (and the price tag had set in and given me a mild heart attack) I was back to bitterness over the crib that never was but should have been. We asked a store employee what the deal was but she didn't fully understand our inquiry (English was not her strong suit, poor thing) and we were left informationless.

Last week I discovered the curtains I'd fallen in love at first sight with for Amaris' bedroom were out of stock on pbkids.com, and the outlook for them returning was not good. I've been scrambling trying to find a friend with access to these curtains ever since to no avail.

One of my friends emailed them and they told her that there were just 5 left in stock and that she'd better order soon via phone to ensure she could get a pair. I called the moment she told me this news, and the customer service agent told me that no, they're all out. I about cried. Of all the false hopes!

I shopped online for over an hour trying to find a crib I could deal with, and finally settled on one from Wal Mart - it turned out that if I ordered the crib and changing table both from their website, I'd score them for cheaper (even after shipping) than the original crib and changing table would have cost me. I was so elated. I went to order them immediately. Only to have Wal Mart's website tell me that they would ship me whatever I wanted, just not the crib. I checked 3 other websites. None of them want to ship me the stupid thing.

Clearly it is not turning out to be my week, right?

So we go to check the mail. Mark has high hopes and is expecting a check from his bank account to help us in the baby items shopping. No check in our box, but we did have two small packages in our box and 3 claim slips for large packages. So we claim the packages and find that Pottery Barn (damn that store all to Hell!) has come through and our new Christmas stockings are HERE! Score! We immediately tore into the boxes to find... 4 stockings. That I paid $6.50 extra EACH for to have them personalized with our names. All of them packaged nicely, but entirely blank. What the EFF, man. Mark and I then spent the next hour discussing how I will NOT be paying shipping and handling to return these stockings, and Pottery Barn will be fixing this issue ON THE HOUSE, or ELSE. Mark seems convinced they are going to give me hell over it, but I am so damned angry that I will absolutely be the one giving all the hell there is to give. Just wait and see.

So for now, I'm extraordinarily bitter. My slippers arrived from shoemall.com (my favorite store right now since they are the only store that ever bothers to come through with their agreements) and here I sit wearing them and my yoga pants. I bought a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey, and I'm about to crack it open. I'm ready to just go to bed.

Turtle Beach

ACTUAL sharks

We went to the Churami Aquarium on Saturday, which boasts the second largest aquarium in the world:

It was a lot of fun, but it was hot! And sort of crowded. I guess the heat can't very well be avoided here in tropical Okinawa, and supposedly at this particular location, the crowd isn't to be avoided either. Which, honestly, is okay. We had a good time despite the heat and the sardine-can effect. Amaris loved it - she always loves seeing fish. This aquarium is part of Ocean Expo Park, if I understand correctly. Which is a bunch of different things all in one spot - a couple of beaches, one of them boasting white sand (and if we'd been wearing our swim garb we'd have gone there... I'm telling you, it was hot), sea turtle exhibits, a dolphin show, manatees, tons of fish exhibits, a couple of restaurants, some concessionaires, and gardens for your viewing pleasure.

That huge aquarium pictured above had THREE giant sharks in it - don't remember the particular species, but they were massive. We admired them a while, and thanked our lucky stars that we weren't on the menu for lunch... (Interestingly enough, humans can observe these sharks while eating lunch - there is a restaurant just off to the right of this photo where they serve various sandwiches, rice and noodle dishes. The glass panels are literally floor to ceiling. We did it, and it wasn't even all that intimidating to eat in front of them.) and then we saw one of those average sized sharks swim by, you know - the ones that are probably around 6' long and are grayish in color. Mark said, "Oh, look, there's an actual shark!" I laughed my head off and said, "Good, I'm glad we got to see an "actual shark" too because those giant spotted sharks just weren't "real" enough for me."

That guy can be such a dork sometimes. I love him, what can I say.

We got annual passes to the aquarium so I'm sure we'll be heading back several times while we are here.

Today we got a big package in the mail from Target.com - the first part of our shipment from an online shopping trip. (It was 10% off rewards time!) It was fun to go through the package, and almost a little weird because there were several "baby" items in that box - a changing pad and cover, bottles, drool rags, a drying rack... all things I bought myself off of my registry (or, as I like to call it, the shopping list. Since generally baby #2's don't officially get baby showers.) Amaris had a lot of fun "helping" me to wash every bottle, and now they're all hanging out on the rack, waiting to be put away. A part of me still hasn't acknowledged this pregnancy as "real", and it's kind of exciting and weird to have baby bottles in the house again. I kind of feel like it's a reality check. The other day at the commissary, we picked up a can of formula. My ending total reflected that can in all it's craziness, but putting it up in the cabinet was sort of surreal. And then I realized if I am going to start stocking up on formula, I should probably also look into stocking up on diapers. It's a long, expensive road ahead for that first year - I remember! Even moreso here in Okinawa where we have no Sam's Club. We'll survive.

I still havent been to the 100 Yen store. Or the Japanese grocery stores. I keep hinting at Mark. He'll catch on soon.

At the tone, YOUR LOCAL TIME will be...

Time zones are lame.

Every light in the house is on

Well, not every light, but certainly every appliance. Except the oven. I can change that if you'd like.

I finally conjured up some motivation and did some housework I was behind on. The dishes are in the dishwasher, a load of laundry in the washer and one more in the dryer. The place still looks the same, unless we're talking about my sink. Which is due to be shined.

I have heartburn. This little girl had better be born with as much hair as her sister had.

Also on my list of accomplishments today is that I found an amazing photographer here in Okinawa! I'm super excited, I had been worrying about Christmas cards this year. Worry no more! We are meeting up with Kimberly on November 8. Score one for the team!

I feel like I've accomplished a lot more than that, but now that I'm thinking about it all rationally, I guess I really haven't. I bought myself a pair of slippers and new Christmas stockings for the gang. Both of those things are on their way from America to my FPO mail box. I've also been doing some serious Santa brainstorming. I didn't realize just how hard it could be to shop for a 2-year-old. What I really want to get her is a bunch of stuff she could probably care less about - most of which would have something to do with the new decor I have been eyeing for her bedroom. (It matches her Ikea Mammut furniture PERFECTLY - God help me!)

I am undecided, though, about whether or not I should go the "dress-up" route for her Christmas gift theme, or the "doll houses" theme. There are a couple of things Santa has picked out for her stocking already, but her toys here so far are slim pickings, and I'm starting to feel completely guilty about my child being bored all the time.

Tomorrow, we're making another attempt to go to the Churami Aquarium, so hopefully that'll be a good time.

Amaris is whining and saying "Help me mommy, pooooor baaaaaabyyy...." Over and over again now so I think I am going to go ahead and toss her dirty little butt in the bathtub.

Everything must be named!

I've been on a naming spree. But my two favorites are the names I gave to the iMac and the Funcargo. The iMac is Jimmy. As in Jimmy MacElroy. (Get it? Because it's a Mac? aaahahahaha) The Funcargo is Prudence. It was rainy yesterday afternoon and the roads (being paved in asphalt and crushed coral) were a tad slippery. Mark spun the tires out slightly while we were trying to make a right turn. He patted the dash board and said, "Good girl." And "Prudence" just popped into my head like a message from above.

We experienced all that is American Village, and it was pretty cool.







They had this awesome arcade there, Club Sega. Everything is horribly overpriced (it's ¥100 per game for most games. The fancier games can be up to ¥200. Our exchange rate today was $1 = ¥99.) but they have slot machines and a whole bunch of those awesome "crane" games hopped up on steroids. They had that cool scooty game where you try to push tokens over the edge for tickets, except the goal was to push CANDY over the edge into the prize return. We won FIVE regular sized packages of POCKY! And a crapton of candies.

We also visited for the first time a Jusco. Which was like EVERYTHING all under one roof. Like a Japanese Wal Mart Supercenter, but better. It was like a full sized department store, food court, pharmacy, grocery store, bakery and deli. I was pleased by Jusco.

The only thing yesterday lacked was a trip on the ferris wheel. But as you can tell by the photos, it was mildly stormy and we figured it'd be a funner experience on a clearer day. Plus we wanted to ride it at night, and we kind of ran out of Yen and things to do before it got dark. So instead we came home and rented a movie.

23 weeks

Our iMac needs a name. Especially if I am going to be using it as my pregnancy photographer.

Baby girl belly week 23:


Mark has declared me past the point of "sucking it in" and pretending I am not pregnant. When I was pregnant with Amaris, I was positive up through month 8 or so that I could still "suck in my belly" and appear to be totally normal. One day as I was getting dressed, I mentioned that to him, and then showed him my awesome rad "sucking it in" skills. He laughed at me. I waited till he'd left the room and then cried out of sheer humiliation. We laugh about it now, together. But at the time, it was so not the right thing to do.

Today I attempted to suck it in just for fun. He shook his head and said (very respectfully) "No, honey, you still have a bump." I'll not try to do it again. I feel like it's true that you are much bigger much quicker with subsequent pregnancies. Below is the photo I have from Amaris' pregnancy at week 23.

I guess that technically, the bump is similar. More importantly to note, though, is that at this point in Amaris' pregnancy I had already long given up "normal" clothes. I distinctly remember a friend taking me maternity clothes shopping when I was around 10 weeks along with Amaris. Once she'd done that, I never looked back. And apparently my ass had become an oddly-shaped block. My bump this time feels more definite though, despite the fact that I can still put myself into my size 5 and 7 bottoms without much issue. And baby girl is totally swimming and kicking up a storm in there. We have a lot of fun prodding her and waiting for her responses. (She'll be born annoyed with us, I'm sure. I know I was a lot more cautious and considerate of "baby's personal space" with Ami's pregnancy.) Amaris was active by this stage, but she was still dainty about her movements and very seldom gave me discomfort. Baby girl decided last night beyond a doubt that it would NOT be acceptable for me to sleep on my back any more. And she made it known. Several times in the car, she has positioned herself in a way that makes me miserable, which I am assuming is her way of expressing her opinion on my posture. Clearly it needs improvement. The other night, the moment I laid down on the Godforsaken air mattress, Mark put his hand on my belly, and baby girl gave a "kick" that made me say "WHOA!" out loud. Literally. Mark laughed. I am totally impressed with her strength, but also relieved that she has it, particularly when I watch sweet little maniac Amaris running around the house and I know that baby girl is going to have to hold her own with her. Hopefully this is a good sign that she'll have no trouble with that at all. At this point, I told Mark, "You don't need boys!!!" Of course we'd love to have one, though. Little boy clothes are nothing short of precious and I can't wait to make my son look like a tiny old man.

Good Evening!

In Japanese, "kumbawa" means "good evening" - so any time we come through the base gates in the evening hours, or go to a restaurant or shop, the appropriate greeting is "kumbawa." Amaris likes that word. A lot. She "kumbawas" like it's going out of style.

The problem is that she doesn't "get" what it means. So instead of using it as a greeting, she calls any and all Asian people "kumbawa" at all hours of the day and night. Yesterday she got away from me for a moment at a soda machine while an Okinawan man was buying a drink. She opened the little dispenser door for him (she is so helpful) and said, "Here you go, kumbawa!"

I don't think the man really noticed, but man was I embarrassed.

imac, do you?

I have successfully corrupted Mark just the right amount. He laughs with me at the Mac/PC commercials. We discuss why Apple is better. (God, I love that man.)

The other day, against all better judgment, we finally bought the iMac we had been coveting for the past couple of years - the very computer that caused us to jointly decide to skip birthdays this year, so that we could gift it to eachother on Christmas. It is beautiful.

Even Amaris likes it. (Almost as much as she likes her slippers. And being a nudist.)





Happy Columbus Day! Mark has today and tomorrow off to celebrate Columbus Day. I'm not sure exactly how we are "supposed" to celebrate this holiday, but my goal is to go to "American Village" (which I am pretty sure is Japan's way of making up for us having Chinatown, Little Tokyo, etc back in the 'states.) and explore the pretend American culture. That seems appropriate, right? American Village has a huge slow moving ferris wheel and I am told that if you ride it at night you get a beautiful view of the island.

Yesterday we went to a tug of war festival in Naha and that was pretty cool... Well, from what I could see. Apparently the rope is gigantic and such. But there were so many people that the rope was pretty much unviewable - unless you are Mark, who insisted on grabbing hold of the rope and "helping," later on he climbed on top of it and "rode" it, but I missed that because he was so swept up in the crowd. By the time the rope was the main event, we'd had lunch and Amaris was tired and bored and ready to leave. But up until then we had a fun time exploring the area - lots of shopping and such. We saw Habu Sake for the first time, which was totally creepy, and I literally had nightmares about Habu snakes last night.

No matter, Amaris had a good time hanging with her favorite couple of Cassidys - apparently that is a highly popular name, as two of our friends here in Okinawa have daughters named Cassidy. Amaris enjoys both of them. And she enjoys saying "Cassa-ee!" - so much that whenever one of them is brought up, all we hear about from her is "Cassa-ee!" over and over again until she falls asleep and/or forgets about the mention. So she had a fun time hanging out with them at the tug of war thing yesterday.

And Ronald. And just so you know, that Ronald is NOT in front of a McDonalds (Makoro Donoro's, if you're Okinawan). He was chained to a bench outside of a store that sold all sorts of ethnic novelty foods. Everybody can go ahead and expect MRE-style Taco Rice for Christmas from us this year. Taco rice is the shit. And it is extremely popular in Okinawa. For good reason! They have it packaged like astronaut (or US troop - whichever you are in the mood for) style food packages for sale there. Holy awesomeness.

Clearly from the photos above, I am still in pajamas. I need to remedy that.

But before I do that, please enjoy this photo of the fizzing crazy shrimp cocktail we had with our lunch yesterday at Sam's Anchor Inn.

But Wii can't!!

About a week ago, we were perusing the exchange, trying to find necessary things for our new apartment (dishes, pots, pans, microwave, etc), and while walking down the video game aisle, I spotted two WiiFit Boxes just sitting there, lonely and quiet. Wide-eyed, I beelined to them. I scooped one of them up and clutched it. Yes, clutched it. Right to my round pregnant belly. And while I stood there trying to weigh my options and decide what to do about such a find, a man walked up next to me and scooped up the remaining box. I clutched my find even tighter.

I've NEVER seen a WiiFit in stock anywhere. Ever. I've looked. I've seen the Yoga mat, the accessories... But never the WiiFit itself, in all it's glory. Still clutching the box, I turned and walked away to find Mark and seek his approval.

He is a sucker for video games, and caved with very little pushing and prodding. Muwahahahaha. The WiiFit was mine. When the Japanese cashier rang it up, even she acknowledged the precious nature of this purchase, and laughed and said, "oh, is this for me?" in her broken Engrish. I laughed and said, "I know, right?"

The WiiFit came all the way home, and to my utter dismay I realized that we are without the Wii. I had totally forgotten. Our Wii is packed up in a crate somewhere waiting to be shipped to us here in our new digs in Okinawa. Cold, lonely, collecting dust. I waited several days till Mark got a hold of TMO, thinking that surely our household goods must be "here" already and waiting for us to request them. My back was delighted with that idea. Air mattresses are only comfortable for so long, and then it becomes NECESSARY to have your own bed back. We are approaching that time. My pregnant body has had enough from the Coleman.

When Mark finally reached them, TMO (to further my dismay) reported that they have not received our shipment yet, and don't know when we should expect it.

I almost cried.

The WiiFit is STILL in it's box. Every time I see it there in the corner I feel disappointed. Every time I lie down on the squeaky, creaky air mattress, I die a little.

Someone hold me.

Paradise

What I wouldn't give...

...to have my own bed back already.

The way I see it.

I refuse to be bitter about Okinawa being Okinawa. I am a visitor here, and this is a really cool opportunity for my family and me. I won't sneer at Okinawans speaking Japanese. This is THEIR home. They are fully entitled to speak their own language in their own country. I won't get road rage about the overcautious Okinawan drivers. I won't drive over their low speed limits (much) and I won't be a nuisance. I will eat as much authentic food as I can stomach, and damnit I'll savor it.

It's very likely that we will never again have an opportunity like this one, where we are able to live in another country and soak up the culture. I intend to do, see, appreciate and enjoy as much as I possibly can. And nobody is going to talk me out of it.

Each duty station is what you make it. I'm not going to be miserable for the next 3 years. And that's that.

Great

I just love all of my new white trash neighbors and their 8,000 children of the corn under 6 who all play in the hallway unsupervised and pester me every time I leave or return to my apartment. They are fantastic!!!!!

I also love and adore the pest control office whose system is (and has been for the past couple of days) down "because of the new fiscal year," and therefore won't even schedule my apartment to get bombed for the roach problem that should have been taken care of BEFORE we moved in.

So far, Okinawa rocks!!