It's official.  I have lived in this godforsaken apartment longer than I've lived anywhere else in the last six years.  And I have unfortunately discovered that the constant relocation has become an addiction for me.  This apartment is where I've experienced the worst living conditions in my life, so that doesn't help.  But about six months ago, I felt the urge to move.  The urge has festered and multiplied and now I am dying to get out of here.  There is no end in sight, though.  Not till we are due to move off of the island, which is another year and a half away.

I love Okinawa and I'm not done experiencing this country, culture and island, but I'd happily receive new orders to send us somewhere else just to get out of this apartment and preferably into a house with a yard and my cat and a good five feet or more in between us and our neighbors.

I'm also feeling bitter about the specifics of military life in Okinawa - the lack of American shopping, the censorship of our TV and movies, the limitations of Naval medicine...  Very upsetting.

Obviously, today I'm just feeling bitter about it all.

It used to be the rule that I did my best blogging when I was alone and/or down.  And now it seems that I spend most of my time being alone and down, and somehow I have nothing to say.

I sent Mark off on his deployment this evening.  That means I'm facing 6-10 months of heartache and loneliness.  Have I mentioned before that I hate being alone?

So far, every time I've tucked her in since he left, Amaris asks me for a daddy kiss:  "I needa my daddy-kiss."  So we've been doubling up.  I tell her, "Amaris, honey, daddy's not home, how about another mommy-kiss?"

We are approaching another anniversary that Mark will most likely miss - he's missed a lot of them thanks to his Marine Corps career.  2009 marks our 8th year of "dating" and our 4th year of marriage.  Thinking back to our last anniversary, my heart swells.  We were not in a very good place emotionally, and God knows I was miserable for almost our entire 6 months in Texas but that weekend was wonderful, really.  We had a genuinely good time together.  And that was one of the only times we all really enjoyed during our stay in the Lone Star State.

When I snapped and posted the picture of "just us girls" on Wednesday, I wasn't aware that I would be realizing the gravity of "just us girls" quite so soon.

This one hurts.  More than the other two.  For a few reasons I'm ashamed to admit here or anywhere, but that's the key to healthy coping, right?  Talking it out?

Mark's deployment is looming over us.  I'm trying my hardest to keep everything (most of all my mood) on an even keel, but so far that's proving easier said than done.

I'm noticing that people in Okinawa are cuh-razy.  I'm not talking about Okinawans.  I'm talking about the American community on island.  I don't know what the deal is here but a huge portion of the people here are full of negativity and are just plain bizarre.  It's like the branches of the military scrapped together the most bizarre-o bunch of families and stuck them all on this beautiful little island.

Mark requested a big block of leave for Christmas.  December 19-January 2.  His leave request was approved and all was fine.  Until today when they basically cancelled it without real warning.

Everybody else gets half a day off after they've had duty for "recovery". Why is it that Mark never winds up getting what "everybody else" does?

I have not heard from Mark in 20 hours, now. He called a little after 8PM last night to check in and tell me that he missed me and my pork chops (more on that later). Then he never called again and he didn't come home around noon like most of the guys in his shop do when they've been on overnight duty.

Since we arrived here, Mark has had duty 3 times. First was the night before he had to go to the rifle range and that prevented him from getting his half-day off. Then was the Friday after Thanksgiving, and obviously he'd have already had the time off afterwards. And now last night. He said he might not get his half day this time either because they were "really busy", but I figured he'd still at least CALL in between and let me know some sort of an update. I've checked my phone all day long to no avail. He has not called, nor has he answered any of my 3 phone calls today. I'm getting annoyed. I just don't get why HE is always the overworked one. Anybody else would have taken their half day and left regardless of anything that needed to be done.

Long gone are the days of Port Hueneme duty. Duty there consisted of him having to carry around a rather annoying cell phone and check the building twice a day for a week, once every 2-3 months or so. Duty there was cake. Duty here, similarly to San Angelo, means that he has to stay at the barracks once a month, and gets to sleep a whole 4 hours, if he's lucky. It ticks me off that they obligate even the married Marines to this task, rather than just the Marines who are actually living in the barracks. I don't see them sending single Marines to keep an eye on the building we live in.

So I'm irritated.

Okay, back to the pork chops. Night before last I made pork chops for dinner that made Mark say, "OH MY GOD." Pork chops never get an "oh my God" in this house. We tend to find them boring and even a little tough and dry. Enter "Awesome Honey Pecan Pork Chops".

Ingredients:

• 4 3/4" thick boneless pork chops
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour for coating
• salt and pepper to taste
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1/4 cup honey
• 1/4 cup chopped pecans

Directions:

1. In a shallow dish, mix together flour, salt and pepper. Dredge pork cutlets in the flour mixture.
2. In a large skillet, melt butter over medium-high heat. Add chops, and brown both sides. Transfer to a warm plate.
3. Mix honey and pecans into the pan drippings. Heat through, stirring constantly. Pour sauce over cutlets.

Yes. You should try them. Seriously. I'll bet if I put them in a bento box, Mark would find Bento completely irresistible.

I have nothing suitable to wear for a Battalion Christmas Party. And I only found out about it yesterday, so I don't even have enough time to order myself something great online and wear it. It's on my birthday - December 12. As in, one week from today.

Thinking about that, Amaris doesn't have anything to wear either. We're going to really have to improvise.

This is just my newest thing to stress over, I guess. I'll make it through, I'm just going to have to pitch a fit and complain about it first, and then this weekend I'll have to conjure up some kind of a great plan.

I didn't feel like cooking dinner on my birthday anyways. Hmpf.

Okaaaaay, we've hit that time - that special time in any separation where I am DONE being patient. I was not to expect Mark home before 8PM and here it is 10 after 7, and I'm wiggly and anxious for him to come through the door.

I think up until now I've done pretty damn well this time. But enough's enough! C'mon home now!

The ball pictures are finally in! I can't help it, I'm impatient.

That sounded totally gross.

Anyways the ball went fine. I tried, anyways. We didn't stay super long, left around 10 and picked up Amaris (who had a great time at the child care center) and then I drove home (since Mark had 3 beers and the DUI legal limit here is .03 BAC. No, that's not a typo. .03. I'd probably have driven home anyways, but it takes the legal restriction for Mark to admit wholeheartedly that he needs help.

The people we had taking pictures for us with our camera were more than a little tipsy, so we don't have a whole lot of great pictures of us from the event. Most of them are blurry or off-center or both.



But when we arrived, we had professional pictures done and that photographer took 4-5 different shots. Hopefully at least one of those turned out good enough to order prints of. I'm just waiting impatiently to get the email with information on how to retrieve the pictures.

Anyways, I made it. The ball itself was really nice. Dinner was decent, service was great and the company was good. I can't complain too much.

...I look fine.


Wish me luck!

So it's Marine Corps Ball time! Happy belated birthday, Marines. :)

Last year, I spent the entire day fretting about making things JUST right.

Today, after having seen myself in my gown (which, by the way, I paid WAY too much for and it looks nothing like the picture it was advertised with) several times and feeling disappointed at my lack of feminine curves thanks to my pregnant belly, I am less motivated. Add to that the fact that I honestly am low on supplies and can't make EVERYTHING perfect and I know that and you have my current mood. I mean, had our shipment arrived here when it was originally supposed to (by November 2), I might have a little more drive. But since it didn't get onto the island till Wednesday and won't be delivered to my house till Monday, I am lacking. No curling irons, no jewelry, bare minimum makeup supply, etc. Not that everything would have been in the shipment - I mean, I would still have needed to buy hair products and such - but at least I'd have not had to buy other necessities, like the new bra and the new "formal" shoes - and then I might have had some extra cash to spend on the little details.

But I didn't. And I honestly still don't know what I am doing with my hair. I have it up in experimental option number 1 right now - rag curlers - and if I hate this, I'll have to rinse it out and start over. We'll see what happens.

By the way, fire engines just arrived at my tower, and a Japanese fire man (who looked an awful lot like Jackie Chan) just came to my door and asked to check my kitchen smoke detectors. And yes, that picture really IS an accurate representation of what I look like right now. It's a damned good thing that I put the shirt on. I was considering hanging out in my bra till I had my hair figured out.

Anyhow, I am playing the procrastination game. I don't want to take my hair down till Mark gets home with my hair spray (I didn't have any of that, either) and I am scared to start on my makeup because, like I said, I might end up re-starting with my hair. So for now I am just hanging out and doing nothing productive. Really good, right?

Last year's Kari would be so disappointed. And so would a handful of other people I can think of (Ifer, grandma, Aunt Sheri, etc). Oh well, it is what it is, and I am what I am.

I am trying really hard to not lose it this afternoon. I thought for sure the guys in charge of the rifle range this week would send Mark home at a decent hour. I was positive. But clearly I was wrong, as here we sit, 5PM. No sign of him yet. Trick or Treat officially begins in one hour here on base, and Amaris is running around in nothing but a bad mood and a diaper. I don't have enough here to occupy her time anymore. It's really frustrating. Our house has government furniture, the computer, some kitchen junk, a TV, and food. As far as toys go... We have like 6 Hot Wheels, 2 barbies, a couple of iPet toys from Burger King, and a couple of stuffed animals. That's it. Oh - and a toy that is suited for a 6 month old. For some reason Amaris thinks it is rad beyond all reason. But not now. Right now she is just upset about being bored. So am I.

My elbow is killing me because there is a huge insect bite on it that I mysteriously got yesterday morning. Probably while I was blogging angstily. Anyways it has swelled up and made my arm incredibly sore. The rest of my body is just sore in general. My shoulders and neck especially.

If Mark's not home soon we'll miss trick-or-treating. I'm already at a loss for dinner since the meal I'd planned on requires ingredients we don't have.

I quit this job!

I just love all of my new white trash neighbors and their 8,000 children of the corn under 6 who all play in the hallway unsupervised and pester me every time I leave or return to my apartment. They are fantastic!!!!!

I also love and adore the pest control office whose system is (and has been for the past couple of days) down "because of the new fiscal year," and therefore won't even schedule my apartment to get bombed for the roach problem that should have been taken care of BEFORE we moved in.

So far, Okinawa rocks!!

The past couple of weeks, I've been earning extra cash via Craigslist and eBay. Some of my friends think I've become an addict, but really I am just wigging out and trying REALLY hard to unload some of the unnecessary junk before we move. Which, by the way, happens in just a couple of weeks. (Yes, I am fully expecting to crap myself.) Actually, a week from today, the movers will be here, in my house, packing up all of my crap. Hold me! They'll load the "household goods" by Friday and we'll be bunking at the base lodge for our last week in San Angelo. Which is fitting, since that's how we spent our first week in this dump of a city.

So far, I've sold a crapton of Amaris' baby clothes (one auction left to go, I hope), Ami's old crib, dresser, high chair, travel system, and bassinet. I've also managed to unload the Gamecube and all of it's accessories. And hopefully have legitimate buyers lined up for Ami's old bouncer, jumper, portable high chair, kick-n-play piano, Baby Einstein DVDs, a few other miscellaneous baby items, some of the furniture - namely the freestanding kitchen counter and the two closet organizers, and the old TV (which we're selling complete with stand and DVD player). We'll see, though. I don't want to just expect that these people will pull through just because they sent me emails and said they'd come. Although it would be cool. It'd also be really cool if we could find someone to buy the rest of the crap we need to unload. Like Amaris' baby bedding, the fish tank, the photo printer... To name a few. I saw a box outside of The UPS Store today (while I was dropping off eBay goods) labeled book donations. I have a whole box of books I need to get rid of, so I think next time we head out there (hopefully soon, just waiting on payment from my last two auction winners) I'll drop my books in.

We took Boo to the vet this morning and let them re-microchip her (we needed an internationally compatible chip) and vaccinate her against Rabies.

Other than that, things are slow. The Schlitterbahn was not nearly what the Travel Channel hyped it up to be and we were all disappointed. It was a nice atmosphere, but the number of rides suitable to a 2-year old and an expectant mother was slim, and our options were pathetic. Even the rides that appeared to be completely tame were classified as "red diamond" rides which basically scared me out of even attempting. Even if I were ballsy enough to try, the lines were all an hour long or more. That made it a really boring afternoon. It also rained that day, which made for a weird experience. At $40 per ticket, I don't think I'd bother going back. Unless I was already stuck in Texas for some odd reason, and was unpregnant, and the trip was going to be just Mark and me, and we could spend the whole day there. Then I might go. Otherwise... No. A big part of me wishes that we'd gone to The Great Wolf Lodge instead.

But oh well. Next weekend we'll be in San Antonio. We passed through there on our way home from San Marcos (that was where we stayed last weekend for our Schlitterbahn adventure, since it was nearby and also home to the outlet mall... Which was where we spent a good deal of Sunday. But we didn't spend much money. Kudos to us.) and they had Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Heck yeah!

Anyways, I am kind of scatterbrained these days. So I am probably all over the place. But in my defense, my LIFE is kind of all over the place right now. Hopefully it'll all get sorted out soon. Really soon.