Ordinarily Mark conveniently forgets holidays that require gifts.  He will wait till the last second and then pull something out of his ass to make it work out.  And honestly, he's pretty good at that.  For our anniversary last year, I told him that planning something was up to him for once.  He rounded up the whole family and we went to Glen Rose, TX where there is a drive-through zoo, which was awesome.  On the way back, on a whim, we decided to stay overnight in Stephenville, TX.  It was quite honestly the best weekend we had during our time in Texas.  And not a bit of it was pre-planned.  He just had the idea and went with it.

Who'd have ever thought that I'd come to Japan and have the best ITALIAN food of my life?

Seriously, I hope 2009 is fan-fricking-tastic.

I had no complaints.  Things were moving along well.  See-ta's cookies were baked, dinner was under way, Amaris was adequately stoked about Santa, I had my groceries, things were going well.

One word:  OVERWHELMED!

It's gray outside and it looks cold (I'm sure it's not ACTUALLY cold, but it certainly appears that way from inside the apartment).  I think I'm going to turn on my Christmas tree, do a little laundry, and then make chocolate chip cookies with Amaris.  We might also consider some gingerbread.

I have over 3 dozen tamales on my freezer.  And my neighbor has at least that many in hers.  They were a success, I do believe, despite the fact that we're both pretty darn white and had never attempted to make tamales before.  They taste great.  And they look pretty nice, too.

I'm heading to bed for now but later on after I've woken up, my friend and I are going to make our very first attempts at homemade tamales.  I cooked chuck roast all day long and it's hanging out in the fridge overnight.  I'm excited.  Mark will deface them with ketchup and I don't even care.  This'll be my first ever Christmas outside of California, which basically means that it'll be my first ever Christmas without access to tamales.  So I'm pretty stoked to carry on the tradition myself by making them here to enjoy.  I need to clear out some freezer space.

Mark requested a big block of leave for Christmas.  December 19-January 2.  His leave request was approved and all was fine.  Until today when they basically cancelled it without real warning.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

I have nothing suitable to wear for a Battalion Christmas Party. And I only found out about it yesterday, so I don't even have enough time to order myself something great online and wear it. It's on my birthday - December 12. As in, one week from today.

Thinking about that, Amaris doesn't have anything to wear either. We're going to really have to improvise.

This is just my newest thing to stress over, I guess. I'll make it through, I'm just going to have to pitch a fit and complain about it first, and then this weekend I'll have to conjure up some kind of a great plan.

I didn't feel like cooking dinner on my birthday anyways. Hmpf.

We bought a little Christmas tree at the exchange today. We were going to buy all the trimmings but I hesitated. The exchange can really be a rip off sometimes. We got a little 6.5' Charlie Brown looking tree for $39.99 - which isn't too bad, but when we went to figure out how to decorate it, we discovered that ornaments would end up costing us no less than $70, and ONE string of 200 clear lights would run us $20. $100 to trim a dinky little Christmas tree in ornaments and lights I don't really care that that much about just didn't feel right. I mean, I have a collection of meaningful Christmas decor back in the states in non-temporary-storage.

So the tree is bare. I put the gifts underneath it and that helped a little, but the branches are so green and empty and dark. So, I've been searching the web for good ideas on inexpensive Christmas decorations. I can work with this. I was considering doing popcorn and cranberries... But the cost of produce here is no joke, and I don't feel like having moldy cranberries hanging out on our Christmas tree. Plus this building is kind of old and gross and there is like a perpetual roach problem waiting to be stirred up. I don't want to give them a good reason to hang out in my living room, like popcorn on my Christmas tree.

So, I decided I MUST have this candy garland. It's a bunch of brightly wrapped junky candies STAPLED together! How awesome is that? I am super excited about it. I have a box full of staples. I just need the candy! So now I'm on a quest to find brightly colored candies and peppermints. And then I can put up colored lights, hang a bunch of candy canes and such from the branches and we'll be set. Amaris ends up trying to eat the ornaments anyways. Well, she did last year. I don't anticipate this year to be any different. She's no fool, she knows what candy canes are. We went to the Holiday Bazaar today and they were passing out candy canes. She cracked that thing open so fast I didn't even know what happened, and then she kept telling me - very matter-of-factly - that it was a "special candy". So I figure the lower 3' of branches on our Christmas tree will be bare anyways by the time we get to December 25. That's how it worked out last year!

So I'm excited. I have purpose again. I'm figuring it out.

I'm ready. I'm ready to have a Christmas tree up, lights on my balcony, and cocoa on the stove. The Santa cookie jar is out, the stockings are hung, and I've started wrapping presents. Oh - and the weather is finally not stiflingly hot - I wore a tank top today and it was not enough! I shivered! I didn't know I could shiver in Okinawa.

It's an exciting time.

Santa's coming to town! (And I hope I don't have to tell him how rotten Amaris has been lately! Hmpf!)

Dinner has been served, my day was spent cooking. We had a good meal, slightly distracted by Wheel of Fortune, but delicious nonetheless. The purple yams didn't work out - I got frustrated peeling them and after roasting them I had trouble mashing them, so I just threw them out. I'd have been the only one eating them anyways, so it wasn't a major loss. We still had way too much food.

I'm thankful for a lot of things. Trying to focus on the positive rather than the negative is not my strong suit, but this year I do have a lot to count myself lucky over.

I'm so fortunate. I have a beautiful daughter (and another on the way), a truly wonderful husband, a roof over my head, food on the table, and plenty to keep me warm (or cool, depending on the weather!) I'm being blessed with great opportunities all the time. My family "back home" is wonderful - my grandma is one of my very best friends, she and my mom raised me wonderfully (if I do say so myself) and I have countless other family members and friends that I know I can trust and rely on.

Life is good. Even though right now, my back is killing me and my feet are tired. (Trying not to focus on that, though, remember?)

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. :)

Thank you, oven. And thank you, shallow pie pan. You have both made my day a little hotter and more rotten. My left pinky and ring finger will NEVER forgive you.

I hope you know that. And I hope you're satisfied. For SHAME!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Not too terrible, but the feeling IS there.

I have my purple yams ready, and my white potatoes (because you can't find red ones here), and my green beans that I bought yesterday on a field trip to a local produce stand with my neighbor. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. The pumpkin bars are in the fridge, the cranberries are jelling.

Today I'll spend the afternoon baking pies and cookies, and before bed I'll wash and trim all of my vegetables. I'm thinking that I should have bought more carrots. The part that worries me most of all is keeping up with the dishes while I work, which I'm utterly terrible at.

I know that we're going to have entirely too much turkey, entirely not enough casserole dishes, and I'll end my Thursday tired and stuffed. No, not like a turkey. I don't stuff my turkeys. It freaks me out to put stuffing in that gaping raw body cavity.

We'll make it work. For the moment, I'm savoring the last few minutes of peace before Amaris wakes up (I'm estimating it'll be over with in approximately 14 minutes) and then it'll be off the computer chair for me, and into the kitchen to clean things up and get them ready for the marathon baking I'll be doing this afternoon. And to fold the last of the laundry. And to make the beds.

I've become so much more domestic than I ever dreamed I'd be.

My newest dilemma is sweet potatoes. I was looking forward to cooking some delicious Thanksgiving sweet potatoes this year, and didn't really want to use the canned variety. But sweet potatoes here in Okinawa are... well, purple. Really purple.

And purple yams just doesn't seem Thanksgiving-y to me. In fact, it seems downright weird. Ah... Every day is a new adventure.

I know what it's all about.

Everything is totally sneaking up on me. I just stared at iCal for like 10 minutes trying to convince myself that Thanksgiving wasn't really just two weeks away. It is.

And just like I feel unprepared for baby girl's birth, I also feel unprepared for the turkey feast that is approaching with uncontrollable speed.

I have a pretty damned big turkey in the freezer. I bought one of those disposable foil turkey roasting pans - I opted to spend the extra $0.50 and get the one with handles (We're high society here, what can I say?). My pantry has a couple of bags of Mrs. Cubbison's in it (or is it Pepperidge Farms? I don't know.) and enough canned pumpkin and cream of mushroom soup to make you raise an eyebrow. I own Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" holiday CD (and can't wait to pop it in but have been waiting for the right moment) Amaris is looking forward to "helping" me cook the "chicken". I've compiled almost every holiday recipe that I can think of (which totals out to WAY more food than will be necessary, but if I am anything, I'm indecisive and I can't "slim down" my to-do list for fear of leaving out the "wrong" things) and have organized them in a handy little Word "notebook" document - complete with a grocery list and a timeline for when to prepare what.

But still I feel un-ready. And awkward.

I'm working on it. Whether or not I'm ready means absolutely nothing - Thanksgiving is coming and I will be cooking.

Yesterday we finally got word that our household goods had arrived on the island and were passing through customs. I got overly excited and assumed that we'd have our belongings in our house by Friday - despite the fact that Friday is already scheduled to be a hectic day with the Marine Corps Ball to worry about and Mark doing some volunteer event. At least we'd have the weekend to get things settled in and "normal".

Wrong.

The soonest they can deliver us our things is Monday. It kills me to know that my mattress is currently somewhere on this 463-square-mile island, and will remain in a giant wooden box till next week. Next week, when Mark is slated to be out in the field for 3 days. The timing on these things is absolutely phenomenal, let me tell you. I've been trying really hard to curb my complaining on the matter, but the facts are these: Every morning my daughter wakes up coughing. My entire body hurts. My walls are bare. I'm losing my mind.

For me to be in pain is one thing. I'm a big girl, though, and despite the discomfort, I at least understand what is going on (as much as I can, anyways) and I know why I am in pain and that it is temporary. Plus, if I weren't pregnant, I'm sure the pain would be significantly less. A good portion of this dilemma is my moodiness.

For my two-year-old to be suffering SUCKS. You can't explain to a toddler that you know her sleeping conditions (and living conditions) are shitty, but that it is going to be better at some point. You can't explain to a toddler that her empty, cold, industrial bedroom is why she wakes up with a massively hoarse voice and pain in her chest every morning and that you're really trying to make it better. She has been a real trooper so far. But I still don't think it's fair for her and honestly it makes me sad. My effort means nothing. I asked Mark last night if he ever wondered what Amaris thinks of the whole thing - if she worries that this will be permanent, her empty bedroom with the twin-sized air mattress and no furniture, the little TV on an end table in the corner of the living room, the blank walls throughout this echo-ey space we've been calling "home"... Her empty bathroom. I wonder if she looks around and thinks, "Gee, I miss the way things were." In San Angelo she had a bright, colorful bedroom with fun furniture and stuffed animals and all of her things. Even in transit, she at least always had a bed to sleep in, with real bedding and a springy, elevated mattress.

Mark doesn't know what Amaris thinks about this situation. Obviously, neither do I. But I can't wait to see her face when her bedroom is re-assembled.